Dr. Sharad Desai

In 1965, a tall, lanky bespectacled gent made his way from Delhi to a city then known as Leningrad, in a country which used to be called USSR. A year later he was joined by a Bengali lady and a Maharshtrian engineer. These young people had gone there to pursue their education and earn a Ph.D. degree. The next few years were perhaps among the most exciting of their lives...new friendships were formed, they settled into a world entirely different from the one they had been brought up in and together they explored Europe.

The engineer - Sharad Desai - returned to his hometown, Pune, with a Russian wife...a union that was not meant to last long. The tall man married the Bengali lady in what was then the first marriage outside the community for both families. In 1971, they had a son they named Rahul.

Upon his divorce, we did not hear from Sharad uncle for some time. A few years later, he was indeed very fortunate to find a wonderful woman as his wife. Medha aunty brought our families together once again. Till date, I regard her as one of the most vivacious, positive and loving women I have known in my life. We started to meet once every few years in what became regular family vacations. Each get together would entail travel and exploration to some part of India...and was marked by fun, laughter and gaiety. Medha aunty's children became my friends and my childhood memories are full of tales of the three friends - my parents and Sharad uncle - and their bachelor days in USSR.

Several years later, I found myself in Pune where I went for my Master's degree. Naturally, I would stay in Sharad uncle and Medha aunty's house as I looked for accommodation and started my coursework. Over the next two years, they became my parents away from home. Soon they engulfed my friends in their loving embrace and we would frequent their house to relish Medha aunty's cooking as she prepared to feed a pack of hungry beasts who would eat like they had not seen food in years! She and Sharad uncle would sometimes come for an 'inspection' of our bachelor quarters, resulting in hectic activity for us as the two room apartment would be scrubbed clean and precious 'evidence' removed before their arrival. Of course, they fully expected the pre-visit sanitisation and many jokes were cracked on what had been hidden! During the course of my studies in Pune, I developed a special bond with Sharad uncle and Medha aunty. Later, even as my work took me to different cities, I stayed in touch with them. The run up to my marriage was marred by tremendous strife at home, which eventually led me to move out of my parent's house. As always, Medha aunty and Sharad uncle were present and they brought comfort and joy to our family.

Sharad uncle had contracted Parkinson's disease. I would get to see him once every couple of years and there would be some deterioration in his condition. However, when we met, I always found him to be his usual affable self and enquire after us. In the evenings, we would share a drink together. A few years ago, my institute honored me by presenting me an award as the alumni of the year. I was invited to a function to mark the occasion. I requested Sharad uncle and Medha aunty to join my wife and me for the ceremony. I was surprised by the large gathering and the solemnity, wondering what I had done to deserve the attention. When I was unexpectedly called to address the gathering, my thoughts turned towards the front row where I found them beaming with pride. With some emotion, I acknowledged the role they had played during my crucial years at the institute...and I saw tears in their eyes as the gathering collectively applauded their presence.

Over the next few years, Sharad uncle's speech slurred and he spoke lesser. Often, Medha aunty would act as his translator. His movement became unsure and he encountered injuries due to his frequent falls. Other complications developed. Through all this, Medha aunty was the pillar, caring after his every need and even tending to his business affairs.

Last September when I was in Delhi, my father had a blackout in the bathroom which resulted in a neck fracture. Given that it had occurred in the aftermath of his strokes, there was reason to be concerned. I got a call from Medha aunty asking if they could visit us...Sharad uncle needed to see his friend. It was a shock as I saw him, a frail man, being wheeled out of the airport. He could not walk even a few steps without support and it was really difficult to understand what he was saying. He had traveled through some pain. The smile was unchanged. We spent a wonderful week together…the evening tradition of a drink remained, though I was careful in pouring him a tiny one. Despite everything, it was interesting, even comical, to see the friends interact and we had a laugh over the game of chess between my father and him. They struggled to remember the moves, needing intervention from the ladies! As I bid them farewell, we talked about getting together in Singapore soon. We knew it would be precarious for him to travel, but we were keen to be together again.

Two weeks ago, just when I reached my hotel room in Chicago, I got a call I had not imagined receiving so soon. Sharad uncle had died in his sleep. I could not fight back the tears and memories flashed before me. Medha aunty was strong as ever...even in her pain, she consoled me. He had suffered greatly the past few days and the passing had been quiet and peaceful, much like the life he had led.

I called my mother to break the news. In his passing, there was a deep sense of loss. I grieved not just for him, but also for the friendship that he had shared with my parents over forty five years. I remember him for his constant presence in our lives, for his soft nature, for his smile...

Rest In Peace, Sharad Uncle.