Of old friendships...lost and regained

The decision to move to Singapore was taken towards the end of 2007, prompted by a combination of professional and personal factors. My job in India had been one long and exhilarating, yet tiring, journey as our organisatoin grew by leaps and bounds. I had long felt the need for a change and was desirous of learning about new cultures and sharing my experiences with other countries facing similar challenges as I had during my last few years in India. On the personal front, it had simply become unsustainable to continue living in metropolitan India. After three very dangerous and near fatal asthma attacks over a span of two years, I needed to figure out where I had a reasonable chance of survival. Thanks to a very generous organisation, I was not short of options. After considering various locations around the world, I settled upon Singapore...it had proximity to several growing markets across Asia and was a great travel hub. It also had very clean air and a tropical climate that suited my condition. And it was not far from India.

In April, 2008 I began my life in this new country. I was now officially a ‘foreigner’…my identity card had the letters FIN (Foreigner Identification Number) printed on it.

Over two years have passed since then and I have slowly begun to acknowledge changes that have taken place in my life. The first was on the health front, which improved significantly after moving to Singapore. For perhaps the first time, I was able to expand my chest and fill my lungs with air without hearing a wheezing sound. I ran a 5km race within a month of arriving in town. I started exercising and training. The nature of my work and even the workplace changed dramatically. From a noisy and buzzing office in Bangalore that was filled with meetings from morning to night and where every day revealed a new crisis, I was now in a global role where appointments were made and respected, life revolved around conference calls which people diligently prepared for, and my cell phone would ring only occasionally. I traveled to different countries and worked actively with new cultures - learning and advising - and was fascinated to discover similarities and differences from my own.

Outside of work, I sensed some degree of ethnic centricity in how people lived their social lives. They tended to congregate and mingle within familiar boundaries. Indians with other Indians. Chinese with the Chinese. Brits, Aussies and Americans with their like (or 'Caucasians' as they are often referred to in Asia). Not to say that this is all very stark and restrictive, but that is the general picture…

The desire to have a dog grew stronger. It had been many years since I had one running around the house. Constant change of cities and unrelenting work pressure had kept me from making the commitment thus far. But now was really the time, I felt. It would still take two years before a puppy would walk into our house.

There was another realization, which has taken a while to acknowledge and reconcile to. And that was the loss of old friendships. Those that I had grown up with had already dispersed to different parts of the world. Most of my friends were in their early parenting years with lives centering on their progeny. Conversations now were shorter and less intimate.  We were content just to learn that the other was well, or hasten to offer help if needed. Everyone was busy with their careers and managing their households Without even knowing it, our outlooks were becoming divergent. The commonalities - shared desires, activities and aspirations - had shrunk. I was the outlier. The one that had never desired children. Even those that I had been close to the past few years began to drift away, slowly but surely. Now that the context had changed, maybe we just did not have that much relevance in each others existence. I was feeling the effects of my personality and decisions. It had become lonely out there...

But that doesn’t make life gloomy and I am not moping about with a long face. These are just realizations that come with the passage of time and advancing of years…some that one rues at and reminisces, and others that bring a smile on one's face. Like my work, which is pretty intense and offers room for creativity and having a positive impact on people. I constantly get the opportunity to work with new people around the world, both within and outside my company. I travel extensively. There is energy and excitement.

And a new friend at home who is quite a delight!

Health has been great...

Or is that changing again?? In the past month one of my oldest friend’s has reappeared...bronchial asthma! Nothing serious. Just a friendly reminder that he is never too far away... The familiar constriction of the lungs on occasion. Affected sleep. There is suspicion that it may have something to do with our four legged friend…hair being shed from his coat may be triggering off the allergic condition. But we are fortunate to have an outside area for him to live and play in. So we shall keep a close watch.

I am determined to do everything in my power to stay healthy and productive…as I am to experience the joy of a wonderful pet at home. That is not too much to ask out of life, is it?