Why does anyone blog? What prompted me to do this?? I can neither claim any computer savvy nor the gift of gab. I have never known myself to be a man of letters...at least not since I left school. Was it to find expression? Or perhaps the helplessness and anguish of seeing my country being devastated in a mindless terror attack that left so many of us speechless, shocked, bewildered...and yes, terrorised.
I cant help feeling that for the perpetrators, this was a masterstroke. The work of a creative genius - brilliantly planned, flawlessly executed. And it will be etched in the minds and hearts of people for time immemorial. This will go down in the annals as a genuine masterpiece...a new benchmark against which future attacks will be measured and compared.
I contemplate the fate of those who were there in the hotels, the hospital or the station. Those who stared down the barrel of the gun, who heard the explosions around them, who hid for hours in dark rooms and toilets and kitchens. Without a sound. Waiting for their worst nightmares to burst upon them with an unimaginable fury. And the children...who witnessed this and saw the dead, the blood and gore. This has changed their lives forever...
Some weeks back we had a robbery at home. My wife and I lay awake as the robbers went about their work just outside our bedroom wondering what we would do if they were to enter our room. Would we fight? Would we cower in a corner and hope and pray that they would take whatever they wanted and leave us alive? The experience has had its effect...I often lay awake at nights waiting to hear sounds outside the door. Could it be someone again? I sleep a light sleep...sometimes I don't sleep at all.
At least we had something to give the robbers. Even if they had entered our room, we had something to trade...take away everything in sight, just leave us be.
Eventually sleep will come, as will normalcy. And the memory of the incident would slowly fade away. Will it ever fade for those that were there?? What did they have to trade for their lives. What do you do when someone wants nothing at all, other than your very life?
I have thought about the dead and I have thought about those that may have been...
Most of all, I think about what I can do...for my country and for my people. No citizen committees for me. No cries for change. No debates without an end. No loud voices. No candlelight vigils. No hatred. No violence. The answer eludes me...
But I will keep searching.
"...into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake."
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