'Tis that time of the year again...
When months of frenzy gives way to long and quiet days, festive lighting abounds on the streets, newspapers and news channels begin their ritual of posting annual retrospectives, the social circuit starts buzzing with activity...and of course, I end up being generally at a loss trying to find productive use for my existence! Should I be catching up on my reading? Clear up my clogged email inbox? Go out and buy long pending stuff for the house? Catch some movies? Thoughts of reviving my blogging expectedly engage the brain...
It has been many months since I last visited Vishesh Prarambh...in fact, the longest period of inactivity since I began writing a few years ago. My own little sanctuary has become alien to me. Try as I may, it is hard to revive a good habit once one has let go of it. Such long stretches of literary inaction have other consequences...like casting doubts over one's ability of self-expression. Empty thoughts swirl around in the brain and one feels that there is little of consequence to pen down.
During a recent visit to Bangalore, a friend of mine asked me why I had not been writing. My instinctive response was that this had been a year of action, rather than introspection and reflection. Today, as I settled down on the couch with computer on lap, I decided to test the validity of that statement. I did something I generally tend to avoid - looking back! I leafed through the calendar to see what my year had really been like. Turns out I was not too far off the mark.
I had been on the road a lot. Even after cancelling a few trips due to pressing matters at home. All in all, within the past 12 months I made 19 trips to 10 different countries and spent over 21 weeks outside of Singapore!
So what about the 31 weeks that I was around, one might ask?? Well, those did not turn out to be that easy either...
For much of the year, I was leading a complex transformation program for a really large part of our business. This required me to work with a whole host of people across Asia, Europe and the US - both virtually and in person. We were ushering in a new era within our organisation, and I knew no other way to do that than to be with people as they navigated their way through the windy and often rough terrain of a change journey. Also, a year ago I had been announced in a new global role, which I was getting increasingly impatient to take on. So even before the transformation program had wound down, off I went to the US to assume my new responsibilities. The result was not pretty on my (work?) life. By the end of the year, I was on a round-the-clock schedule trying to keep pace with my colleagues, many of who reside in the opposite end of the world. During a typical work week, I would start the day with conference calls at 9am and wrap up the last of my virtual meetings well past midnight. I had forgotten a 'normal' existence that most people have...like having a meal without headphones wrapped around one's head staring at a computer screen!
As if all this was not enough, I had a serious issue to deal with at home.
On a Saturday morning in early September as I headed off to the gym for a session with my trainer, my wife had a bad accident with my dog, Kulfi, which resulted in her sustaining serious injuries (no fault of the dog really...it was her inexperience in dealing with a large animal in a particular situation). Instantly, our domestic life turned on its head. Over the next fortnight she was in and out of hospital and underwent surgical cleaning procedures under general anaesthesia five times. For several weeks thereafter, she trotted about with a vacuum pressured contraption strapped to the wound on her arm. In addition to her medical care, I needed to attend to my dog. And take care of the house. I called off work trips and hunkered down to focus on the home front - there were issues to resolve! I began a new training program with my dog which took up a few hours every day. I was fortunate to be referred to a fantastic trainer who started work with both of us and Kulfi to help build a new relationship between man and dog based on a new regimen, mutual trust and discipline.
Meanwhile, the pace at work continued to be hectic...the incessant conference calls continued.
Several well wishers counseled me to reconsider having a large dog at home, given my travel intensive job which leaves my wife to manage Kulfi all by herself. There is merit in that thought. But the fact is that we both love our dog. Even though we were severely tested, I felt the need to work through the situation rather than escape it. Every relationship undergoes trying times...this one between man and canine was no different. One accident ought not to deter us from setting things right. While I could not predict the outcome, I owed it to myself, my wife, and the four legged creature we had brought into our home to do everything possible to make this a loving and harmonious relationship. So I did the only thing I was capable of - trying hard. Three months have passed and the effort seems to bear fruit - Kulfi is a happier dog, more responsive than he has ever been, and my wife and I are much better at understanding and managing him. And so one shall continue to persevere...
As the year draws to a close and a new one rapidly looms on the horizon, I eventually find myself in reflection. There is a defining thought in the conscience which is simple, yet powerful. I believe it is a quote from John F. Kennedy...
"We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard."
May we all choose to do things because they are hard!
Showing posts with label Reflection. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reflection. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
My journey into Human Resources
A few days ago I was speaking to a dear friend of mine. He enquired after my work and I recounted to him how busy I had been these past few months helping drive a big global change program within my organisation which was taking me to various parts of the world, while also trying to keep pace with some other interests...like helping develop next generation HR professionals and my involvement with Madura Microfinance. He listened intently to me and then suggested that I begin to chronicle insights which I was gaining through my pursuits. The idea resonated and I assured him I would give it a shot. And - as often happens to me these days - when I finally sat down on my laptop, no bright ideas and inspiring insights sprouted from the brain! I fell into a reverie and images of my college days flashed by...the period of my life when I was searching for a vocation to pursue.
So here goes - a journey that began in 1990 when I was in the second year of my undergraduate degree, wondering what the future held for me...
As my college years were drawing to a close, the question of which profession to pursue had become of utmost importance. Most of my friends were intent on a career in management, which became a natural choice for me as well. Like everyone else, I began the groundwork...learning about eligibility criteria and selection processes, getting to know which institutions to apply to, etc. Over time, people began preparation in earnest and pressure began to mount. Most of our conversations centred around our scores in mock tests, and how we felt about our chances to secure admission in a good university. During those early days of economic liberalisation, very few career options were available. For the vast majority of graduates in liberal arts who would live and work in India, management was a highly sought after choice. Hundreds of thousands of people competed fiercely for few seats in coveted institutions. Which meant that each one of us needed to be able to distinguish ourselves from scores of applicants and impress the selectors with our stellar managerial potential. So this was make or break time...
Most of my friends were determined to specialise in Marketing or Finance, as these offered the most lucrative opportunities in the long run. They all seemed clear and confident on the direction to take. I, on the other hand, was confused. I struggled to see myself making a living selling soaps and shampoos. Nor was the prospect of juggling numbers on balance sheets entirely fascinating. To make matters worse, my academic record of the past two years was highly unlikely to impress a jury of academicians. The freedom of being in college had led me to explore several interests, most of which happened to be outside of the classroom! Finally, in the midst of all the noise and pressure, I decided to go back to the basics and determine where I could fit in the grand scheme of this universe. There were a few questions needing answers. Did I even know what a career in management would feel like? What would I actually do? Would that be meaningful and enjoyable? Would I be good at it?
One day I walked up to the majestic library building in the JNU campus - one of the few privileges of living on a university campus - to seek some answers. I located the section on Management and began to browse the vast collection in search of a basic book that would teach me what management was all about. When I got back to my desk, I had a small stack of books. Over the next few hours I read about the various disciplines in management - Finance, Marketing, Information Technology, Operations...and finally Personnel Management...which caught my attention! I began to dive further ... recruitment, training, performance management, compensation. My interest was piqued and I read more in the coming days. I came across theories of motivation and behaviour and how organisations sought to align the needs of individuals and groups with their overall goals. It was all very fascinating. Surely this was a very special area. Wasn't this all about unlocking the potential of human beings within organisations? How cool would that be...
One of the characteristics of student life in India is how the elders within one's social ecosystem surround you to share their wisdom on the path to take in life. I too was not short of well wishers and advisers. When people learnt about my new found interest, I was cautioned against pursuing it...Personnel Management was considered to be a second tier management function. There were varying opinions and none sounded very encouraging...some said that it was just a drag on revenues. Others felt it was a political hotbed to broker deals between the top management and trade unions. Perceptions of being the proverbial agony aunt abounded. I listened with attention - all these people meant well - but everything I heard failed to alter my position. I remained steadfast in my desire to become a human resources professional.
Gaining an entry though turned out to be a totally different ballgame. In my first attempt, nearly all the leading management institutes rejected me. I did make it past written tests and got called for interviews. But none of the sincerity with which I explained my interest cut muster with the selectors. They frowned upon my average academic track record. Or tested my knowledge on completely unrelated areas. In an interview with one of India's leading management institutions, I was asked to expound on the Wiemar Republic...only because I had happened to mention that my father was a professor of modern European history!
It would take almost two years, several rejections (in some cases twice), a failed attempt as an apprentice in a firm of Chartered Accountants, as well as a stint in marketing research, before I finally walked in for my first lecture in a Master's programme in Personnel Management. Two years during which I had all but lost hope of pursuing my passion and was reconciling to a life of compromise.
I was immensely grateful for this opportunity, given that it had come to me after a protracted struggle. As a management student I worked hard, often blurring the distinction between day and night. I involved myself in activities of the institute and established a strong work ethic, something that has stayed with me till today. I was idealistic and rebellious at the same time, attending only those classes where I felt I had something new to learn...which once almost resulted in expulsion as my professor did not entirely agree with my point of view.
But more on that another day.
My travels have brought me back to Bangalore, and a Sunday brunch at my favourite restaurant awaits. With some cherished friends. And a Martini or two. Or more.
So here goes - a journey that began in 1990 when I was in the second year of my undergraduate degree, wondering what the future held for me...
As my college years were drawing to a close, the question of which profession to pursue had become of utmost importance. Most of my friends were intent on a career in management, which became a natural choice for me as well. Like everyone else, I began the groundwork...learning about eligibility criteria and selection processes, getting to know which institutions to apply to, etc. Over time, people began preparation in earnest and pressure began to mount. Most of our conversations centred around our scores in mock tests, and how we felt about our chances to secure admission in a good university. During those early days of economic liberalisation, very few career options were available. For the vast majority of graduates in liberal arts who would live and work in India, management was a highly sought after choice. Hundreds of thousands of people competed fiercely for few seats in coveted institutions. Which meant that each one of us needed to be able to distinguish ourselves from scores of applicants and impress the selectors with our stellar managerial potential. So this was make or break time...
Most of my friends were determined to specialise in Marketing or Finance, as these offered the most lucrative opportunities in the long run. They all seemed clear and confident on the direction to take. I, on the other hand, was confused. I struggled to see myself making a living selling soaps and shampoos. Nor was the prospect of juggling numbers on balance sheets entirely fascinating. To make matters worse, my academic record of the past two years was highly unlikely to impress a jury of academicians. The freedom of being in college had led me to explore several interests, most of which happened to be outside of the classroom! Finally, in the midst of all the noise and pressure, I decided to go back to the basics and determine where I could fit in the grand scheme of this universe. There were a few questions needing answers. Did I even know what a career in management would feel like? What would I actually do? Would that be meaningful and enjoyable? Would I be good at it?
One day I walked up to the majestic library building in the JNU campus - one of the few privileges of living on a university campus - to seek some answers. I located the section on Management and began to browse the vast collection in search of a basic book that would teach me what management was all about. When I got back to my desk, I had a small stack of books. Over the next few hours I read about the various disciplines in management - Finance, Marketing, Information Technology, Operations...and finally Personnel Management...which caught my attention! I began to dive further ... recruitment, training, performance management, compensation. My interest was piqued and I read more in the coming days. I came across theories of motivation and behaviour and how organisations sought to align the needs of individuals and groups with their overall goals. It was all very fascinating. Surely this was a very special area. Wasn't this all about unlocking the potential of human beings within organisations? How cool would that be...
One of the characteristics of student life in India is how the elders within one's social ecosystem surround you to share their wisdom on the path to take in life. I too was not short of well wishers and advisers. When people learnt about my new found interest, I was cautioned against pursuing it...Personnel Management was considered to be a second tier management function. There were varying opinions and none sounded very encouraging...some said that it was just a drag on revenues. Others felt it was a political hotbed to broker deals between the top management and trade unions. Perceptions of being the proverbial agony aunt abounded. I listened with attention - all these people meant well - but everything I heard failed to alter my position. I remained steadfast in my desire to become a human resources professional.
Gaining an entry though turned out to be a totally different ballgame. In my first attempt, nearly all the leading management institutes rejected me. I did make it past written tests and got called for interviews. But none of the sincerity with which I explained my interest cut muster with the selectors. They frowned upon my average academic track record. Or tested my knowledge on completely unrelated areas. In an interview with one of India's leading management institutions, I was asked to expound on the Wiemar Republic...only because I had happened to mention that my father was a professor of modern European history!
It would take almost two years, several rejections (in some cases twice), a failed attempt as an apprentice in a firm of Chartered Accountants, as well as a stint in marketing research, before I finally walked in for my first lecture in a Master's programme in Personnel Management. Two years during which I had all but lost hope of pursuing my passion and was reconciling to a life of compromise.
I was immensely grateful for this opportunity, given that it had come to me after a protracted struggle. As a management student I worked hard, often blurring the distinction between day and night. I involved myself in activities of the institute and established a strong work ethic, something that has stayed with me till today. I was idealistic and rebellious at the same time, attending only those classes where I felt I had something new to learn...which once almost resulted in expulsion as my professor did not entirely agree with my point of view.
But more on that another day.
My travels have brought me back to Bangalore, and a Sunday brunch at my favourite restaurant awaits. With some cherished friends. And a Martini or two. Or more.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
02.01.11
So I finally got a week off after months of frenzied activity. The run up to Christmas had accorded me little time to plan a small getaway from Singapore...and as would be expected, last ditch efforts yielded nothing. Every destination in Asia was already teeming with tourists, and I could not even get a place in the kennel to board Kulfi. Which left me with plenty of time at home and to explore Singapore...I know precious little about my current abode other than the usual hot spots - office, Din Tai Fung (in the office building), Dempsey Hill, and the German Shepherd Dog Club. Oh...and Changi Airport.
Good time to show Rahul this town, thought my wife. And she came up with a list of places as long as my arm - Arab Street, China Town, National Museum of Singapore, Asian Civilisation Museum, restaurants, movies, and of course the famous zoo! Not being as ethusiastic about gallvanting, I had other ideas...which mainly revolved around reading, writing, barbequeing and alcohol (the order being very flexible especially with the latter which could overlap/ override all the others!).
As it turned out, the report card at the end of the break did not look very pretty. My body rebelled against the forced inactivity and I fell ill. My old friend, bronchial asthma, decided to pay me an overdue visit and I spent the last few days in a haze combating heavy breathing with a doze of steriods and anti-histamines. The brain refused to function actively and I did not get too far with my literary agenda either. Barbequeing plans were shelved as they would have made me a prime candidate for being jailed for attempted suicide. Even though I bravely persisted in partaking of wines and Single Malts, I did not much savour the taste...
I learnt that idle time does not equal relaxation (filed away for future reference).
Sure I got some down time...including an overdoze of the idiot box. And Kulfi is now definitely better at sitting, staying and heeling...thanks in abundance to coaching by Kabir, the exuberant and immensely knowledgeable President of GSDC in Singapore, who paid us a visit one evening. Kulfi's coffee table etiquette is still less than elegant though...as was evident that day when, soon after an exhibition of his newly gained skills, he cunningly swooped over the finger food and made off with a bowl of nuts - spoon included, mind you. I am certain his grand plans included annointing his collar with a table napkin and smacking his lips after a sip of Shiraz had I not rudely interrupted with a quick smack on the muzzle!
Over the years I have developed a strong sense of self preservation from NY resolutions. Which has been effective through the advent of 2011 as well. As before, I start the year free of plans and resolve...wishing for nothing more than a chance to lead a life of meaning and purpose...a life less ordinary.
I wish you the same.
Good time to show Rahul this town, thought my wife. And she came up with a list of places as long as my arm - Arab Street, China Town, National Museum of Singapore, Asian Civilisation Museum, restaurants, movies, and of course the famous zoo! Not being as ethusiastic about gallvanting, I had other ideas...which mainly revolved around reading, writing, barbequeing and alcohol (the order being very flexible especially with the latter which could overlap/ override all the others!).
As it turned out, the report card at the end of the break did not look very pretty. My body rebelled against the forced inactivity and I fell ill. My old friend, bronchial asthma, decided to pay me an overdue visit and I spent the last few days in a haze combating heavy breathing with a doze of steriods and anti-histamines. The brain refused to function actively and I did not get too far with my literary agenda either. Barbequeing plans were shelved as they would have made me a prime candidate for being jailed for attempted suicide. Even though I bravely persisted in partaking of wines and Single Malts, I did not much savour the taste...
I learnt that idle time does not equal relaxation (filed away for future reference).
Sure I got some down time...including an overdoze of the idiot box. And Kulfi is now definitely better at sitting, staying and heeling...thanks in abundance to coaching by Kabir, the exuberant and immensely knowledgeable President of GSDC in Singapore, who paid us a visit one evening. Kulfi's coffee table etiquette is still less than elegant though...as was evident that day when, soon after an exhibition of his newly gained skills, he cunningly swooped over the finger food and made off with a bowl of nuts - spoon included, mind you. I am certain his grand plans included annointing his collar with a table napkin and smacking his lips after a sip of Shiraz had I not rudely interrupted with a quick smack on the muzzle!
Over the years I have developed a strong sense of self preservation from NY resolutions. Which has been effective through the advent of 2011 as well. As before, I start the year free of plans and resolve...wishing for nothing more than a chance to lead a life of meaning and purpose...a life less ordinary.
I wish you the same.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Retracing my steps to Vishesh Prarambh
Prolonged absence from one's vocation can have serious effects...the most pronounced being the loss of fluency of expression. Which I am currently experiencing in abundance. Writing does not come easy to me these days. Is it because of lack of quality time...or a lack of quality thinking, I wonder?
So as I sat in a cafe yesterday with the Singapore river flowing quietly behind me, I yearned for thoughts that I could pour onto the keyboard. Images of the year gone by flashed past and myriad thoughts crossed my mind...quite typical I suppose to reminsice as a year draws to a close. But these did not grab me for long. Sure it has been an eventful twelve months. Work took me to various places (repeatedly to USA but also within Asia and Europe) and I was privileged to have the opportunity to know and work with people from around the world. My involvement with maduramicrofinace.com continued and I am delighted to see the organisation marching forth with great energy and purpose. Personally, there were bittersweet moments as I rued the loss of friendships, whilst on the other hand new one's were formed. The most notable being with the four legged creature who roams around the premises as I write. And my health had held up, in no small measure due to a wonderful and caring trainer who has helped me stay fit despite a fairly erratic lifestyle.
While there were events and moments of consequence in 2010, it seemed there was something of greater relevance which I could vaguely sense but was unable to fully comprehend. What was it that was gnawing at the back of my mind?? Why did it feel like I needed to delve deeper into my consciousness?
Finally, as the double espresso worked its way down my throat, the mist surrounding my being began to clear...with almost a sudden and jarring realisation that the first decade of the 21st century was about to end! Just then I felt the weight of these momentous years.
A decade...
...which had seen me moving out of my hometown to go and live in 3 different cities across 2 countries
...that literally consumed my 30's (quite a distressing thought - the impending 40's!)
...which felt like a lifetime...of learning, loving, leaving, gaining, losing, regaining, climbing, falling, leading, following, succeeding, failing...even (almost) succumbing and being returned to life
Indeed, this decade has been of consequence! And as the lights of 2010 begin to flicker, I feel a strong desire to internalise this period of my life. Perhaps in the coming days realisation shall dawn and find its way to the portals of Vishesh Prarambh...or maybe they will stay in the deep recesses of my mind! Who knows...
One recent event though must surely have its pride of place among these pages...Kulfi is now one year old! And I can't help feeling that he just arrived yesterday...
So as I sat in a cafe yesterday with the Singapore river flowing quietly behind me, I yearned for thoughts that I could pour onto the keyboard. Images of the year gone by flashed past and myriad thoughts crossed my mind...quite typical I suppose to reminsice as a year draws to a close. But these did not grab me for long. Sure it has been an eventful twelve months. Work took me to various places (repeatedly to USA but also within Asia and Europe) and I was privileged to have the opportunity to know and work with people from around the world. My involvement with maduramicrofinace.com continued and I am delighted to see the organisation marching forth with great energy and purpose. Personally, there were bittersweet moments as I rued the loss of friendships, whilst on the other hand new one's were formed. The most notable being with the four legged creature who roams around the premises as I write. And my health had held up, in no small measure due to a wonderful and caring trainer who has helped me stay fit despite a fairly erratic lifestyle.
While there were events and moments of consequence in 2010, it seemed there was something of greater relevance which I could vaguely sense but was unable to fully comprehend. What was it that was gnawing at the back of my mind?? Why did it feel like I needed to delve deeper into my consciousness?
Finally, as the double espresso worked its way down my throat, the mist surrounding my being began to clear...with almost a sudden and jarring realisation that the first decade of the 21st century was about to end! Just then I felt the weight of these momentous years.
A decade...
...which had seen me moving out of my hometown to go and live in 3 different cities across 2 countries
...that literally consumed my 30's (quite a distressing thought - the impending 40's!)
...which felt like a lifetime...of learning, loving, leaving, gaining, losing, regaining, climbing, falling, leading, following, succeeding, failing...even (almost) succumbing and being returned to life
Indeed, this decade has been of consequence! And as the lights of 2010 begin to flicker, I feel a strong desire to internalise this period of my life. Perhaps in the coming days realisation shall dawn and find its way to the portals of Vishesh Prarambh...or maybe they will stay in the deep recesses of my mind! Who knows...
One recent event though must surely have its pride of place among these pages...Kulfi is now one year old! And I can't help feeling that he just arrived yesterday...
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Let's just get out of the way!
Twenty flights, mostly long haul and some less so, weaving in and out of airports some thirty odd times over a nine week period. That pretty much summed up my life this summer. My work, enjoyable as it was, had kept me on my toes and also up in the air.
So when I trudged into the Chennai office of Madura (http://www.maduramicrofinance.com/) a couple of days after returning from yet another grueling trip to US, I should have been a tired man. I was there for a Board meeting and to work with new members of the leadership team on their expansion plans. But the two days I spent there turned out to so energizing that fatigue evaporated even before it could set in. Some weeks have gone by since my visit but I still find myself smiling as I reflect on the conversations we had and the experiments we decided to enact.
My association with Madura began over a year ago. I had been looking for opportunities to work with people engaged in bridging the gap between those with education and access and those without. Madura was embarking on significant growth plans and wanted to have a person on the Board with experience of scaling an organisation. We found each other thanks to a helpful friend. Over the next few months, I made several visits and got an opportunity to see the impact of the organisation up close. Madura was preparing for the next phase of evolution with diligence and focus. They scouted for senior management professionals to complement the highly dedicated staff that had brought the organisation through its various phases of evolution. I participated as I could – joining in the selection process and decision making, sometimes in person and at other times over skype or phone, from whichever part of the world I happened to be in. In a surprisingly short time, new members of the management team had been recruited and they were ready and raring to go!
So the July meeting was of significance. The Board had shown up in full strength. The customary quarterly performance update was given and plans for the future were laid out. There were new ideas aplenty, confidently presented by a young and driven crop of managers. Their voices mingled with those of industry stalwarts who had spent their lifetimes building and nurturing some of the leading organisations in India. There were emotional moments. Senior Board members who had seen the organisation from its inception and deeply cared about the vision of its late founder were heartened to see the new generation propelling it forward with energy and conviction. By the end of the day, there was energy, optimism and warmth all around.
The day after the board meeting was all about people…what would our strategy be to grow the organisation? How would we preserve its culture as we grew manifold? A smaller group had gathered to deliberate on these matters. Still in the afterglow of the previous day's events, I had some nagging thoughts at the back of my mind. I was really trying to understand what made this organisation what it was…what was its secret sauce? How could I contribute to its future unless I really understood its DNA? So I decided to seek answers from people in the room. There was the Chairperson, Tara (check out http://physicsofpoverty.blogspot.com/ for some remarkable insights), Sandeep - Board member and Founder of Elevar (http://www.elevarequity.com/), and David, the new Executive Director (http://www.davidappasamy.blogspot.com/).
What happened thereafter was magical...
The picture of Madura that emerged was unique and paradoxical at the same time!
The company had been in the business of microfinance for the past fifteen years, operating within the villages of Tamil Nadu in south India. It had a long history of serving the rural poor. Over the years, the organisation had gone through difficult times as it changed hands, lost its revered founder, and rallied around to eventually emerge stronger. So much so that in 2007, Forbes ranked it as the world's most cost effective provider of microfinance. On any financial metric, Madura was off the industry charts for a company of that scale in India. Lowest rate of lending (by a significant margin compared to its nearest rivals), very low operating costs, excellent rate of loan repayment, high customer retention...
We had all been to the field and met frontline employees as well as customers. There was unanimity in our observations...never before had we met a more committed set of people who were so totally immersed in the mission of the organisation. Their emotional connect to the purpose was unparalleled. They had extreme cost sensitivity – not wanting to ever burden the poor. Employees went beyond the call of duty in serving their customers, who in turn regarded the field staff as one of their own. Several members of management had been with the organisation for decades in its earlier avatar as a bank. I had once witnessed a training session in progress and I couldn't believe how openly they embraced the new practices being propagated. Trust levels were obviously very high - not just between employees and management, but also how the borrowers looked upon the company. One defining, and unique, characteristic of Madura was blurring of the distinction between employee and customer...in many ways, they were practically the same! Several employees were women who had started out as borrowers, and over a period of time gained the means and skills to contribute. They imbibed the mission of helping others progress from poverty and eventually joined the company. As I learnt later, even senior functionaries had taken salary cuts to come on board.
Yet, in some aspects the way the company operated defied conventional management wisdom. Madura was not awash with a bevy of management practices...manuals, well documented role definitions, performance appraisal processes and the like. Until recently, they did not have formal heads for some of their key functional areas. The leadership team had not been driving 'top down' messages through the organisation. The obvious controls were financial and statutory in nature, with extensive use of mobile phone technology. Even field staff - the sales force - were not given set targets to perform to! They would simply go into the villages, form Self Help Groups (SHG) of women, mentor them in various aspects of entrepreneurship and provide useful information to enable them.
What then explains the results? How could this organisation outperform on every conceivable commercial parameter without embracing basic management practices?
We eventually agreed that it would be hard for us to understand till we ourselves unlearned…discarding the familiar so we could embrace the subtleties of this wonderful ecosystem. One decision was clear - until we knew any better, we would not impose upon it our myopic views and conditioned responses...in fact, we would do quite the opposite. The customers would decide and the employees would serve.
As for the Board and management, let’s just get out of the way!
So when I trudged into the Chennai office of Madura (http://www.maduramicrofinance.com/) a couple of days after returning from yet another grueling trip to US, I should have been a tired man. I was there for a Board meeting and to work with new members of the leadership team on their expansion plans. But the two days I spent there turned out to so energizing that fatigue evaporated even before it could set in. Some weeks have gone by since my visit but I still find myself smiling as I reflect on the conversations we had and the experiments we decided to enact.
My association with Madura began over a year ago. I had been looking for opportunities to work with people engaged in bridging the gap between those with education and access and those without. Madura was embarking on significant growth plans and wanted to have a person on the Board with experience of scaling an organisation. We found each other thanks to a helpful friend. Over the next few months, I made several visits and got an opportunity to see the impact of the organisation up close. Madura was preparing for the next phase of evolution with diligence and focus. They scouted for senior management professionals to complement the highly dedicated staff that had brought the organisation through its various phases of evolution. I participated as I could – joining in the selection process and decision making, sometimes in person and at other times over skype or phone, from whichever part of the world I happened to be in. In a surprisingly short time, new members of the management team had been recruited and they were ready and raring to go!
So the July meeting was of significance. The Board had shown up in full strength. The customary quarterly performance update was given and plans for the future were laid out. There were new ideas aplenty, confidently presented by a young and driven crop of managers. Their voices mingled with those of industry stalwarts who had spent their lifetimes building and nurturing some of the leading organisations in India. There were emotional moments. Senior Board members who had seen the organisation from its inception and deeply cared about the vision of its late founder were heartened to see the new generation propelling it forward with energy and conviction. By the end of the day, there was energy, optimism and warmth all around.
The day after the board meeting was all about people…what would our strategy be to grow the organisation? How would we preserve its culture as we grew manifold? A smaller group had gathered to deliberate on these matters. Still in the afterglow of the previous day's events, I had some nagging thoughts at the back of my mind. I was really trying to understand what made this organisation what it was…what was its secret sauce? How could I contribute to its future unless I really understood its DNA? So I decided to seek answers from people in the room. There was the Chairperson, Tara (check out http://physicsofpoverty.blogspot.com/ for some remarkable insights), Sandeep - Board member and Founder of Elevar (http://www.elevarequity.com/), and David, the new Executive Director (http://www.davidappasamy.blogspot.com/).
What happened thereafter was magical...
The picture of Madura that emerged was unique and paradoxical at the same time!
The company had been in the business of microfinance for the past fifteen years, operating within the villages of Tamil Nadu in south India. It had a long history of serving the rural poor. Over the years, the organisation had gone through difficult times as it changed hands, lost its revered founder, and rallied around to eventually emerge stronger. So much so that in 2007, Forbes ranked it as the world's most cost effective provider of microfinance. On any financial metric, Madura was off the industry charts for a company of that scale in India. Lowest rate of lending (by a significant margin compared to its nearest rivals), very low operating costs, excellent rate of loan repayment, high customer retention...
We had all been to the field and met frontline employees as well as customers. There was unanimity in our observations...never before had we met a more committed set of people who were so totally immersed in the mission of the organisation. Their emotional connect to the purpose was unparalleled. They had extreme cost sensitivity – not wanting to ever burden the poor. Employees went beyond the call of duty in serving their customers, who in turn regarded the field staff as one of their own. Several members of management had been with the organisation for decades in its earlier avatar as a bank. I had once witnessed a training session in progress and I couldn't believe how openly they embraced the new practices being propagated. Trust levels were obviously very high - not just between employees and management, but also how the borrowers looked upon the company. One defining, and unique, characteristic of Madura was blurring of the distinction between employee and customer...in many ways, they were practically the same! Several employees were women who had started out as borrowers, and over a period of time gained the means and skills to contribute. They imbibed the mission of helping others progress from poverty and eventually joined the company. As I learnt later, even senior functionaries had taken salary cuts to come on board.
Yet, in some aspects the way the company operated defied conventional management wisdom. Madura was not awash with a bevy of management practices...manuals, well documented role definitions, performance appraisal processes and the like. Until recently, they did not have formal heads for some of their key functional areas. The leadership team had not been driving 'top down' messages through the organisation. The obvious controls were financial and statutory in nature, with extensive use of mobile phone technology. Even field staff - the sales force - were not given set targets to perform to! They would simply go into the villages, form Self Help Groups (SHG) of women, mentor them in various aspects of entrepreneurship and provide useful information to enable them.
What then explains the results? How could this organisation outperform on every conceivable commercial parameter without embracing basic management practices?
We eventually agreed that it would be hard for us to understand till we ourselves unlearned…discarding the familiar so we could embrace the subtleties of this wonderful ecosystem. One decision was clear - until we knew any better, we would not impose upon it our myopic views and conditioned responses...in fact, we would do quite the opposite. The customers would decide and the employees would serve.
As for the Board and management, let’s just get out of the way!
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Of old friendships...lost and regained
The decision to move to Singapore was taken towards the end of 2007, prompted by a combination of professional and personal factors. My job in India had been one long and exhilarating, yet tiring, journey as our organisatoin grew by leaps and bounds. I had long felt the need for a change and was desirous of learning about new cultures and sharing my experiences with other countries facing similar challenges as I had during my last few years in India. On the personal front, it had simply become unsustainable to continue living in metropolitan India. After three very dangerous and near fatal asthma attacks over a span of two years, I needed to figure out where I had a reasonable chance of survival. Thanks to a very generous organisation, I was not short of options. After considering various locations around the world, I settled upon Singapore...it had proximity to several growing markets across Asia and was a great travel hub. It also had very clean air and a tropical climate that suited my condition. And it was not far from India.
In April, 2008 I began my life in this new country. I was now officially a ‘foreigner’…my identity card had the letters FIN (Foreigner Identification Number) printed on it.
Over two years have passed since then and I have slowly begun to acknowledge changes that have taken place in my life. The first was on the health front, which improved significantly after moving to Singapore. For perhaps the first time, I was able to expand my chest and fill my lungs with air without hearing a wheezing sound. I ran a 5km race within a month of arriving in town. I started exercising and training. The nature of my work and even the workplace changed dramatically. From a noisy and buzzing office in Bangalore that was filled with meetings from morning to night and where every day revealed a new crisis, I was now in a global role where appointments were made and respected, life revolved around conference calls which people diligently prepared for, and my cell phone would ring only occasionally. I traveled to different countries and worked actively with new cultures - learning and advising - and was fascinated to discover similarities and differences from my own.
Outside of work, I sensed some degree of ethnic centricity in how people lived their social lives. They tended to congregate and mingle within familiar boundaries. Indians with other Indians. Chinese with the Chinese. Brits, Aussies and Americans with their like (or 'Caucasians' as they are often referred to in Asia). Not to say that this is all very stark and restrictive, but that is the general picture…
The desire to have a dog grew stronger. It had been many years since I had one running around the house. Constant change of cities and unrelenting work pressure had kept me from making the commitment thus far. But now was really the time, I felt. It would still take two years before a puppy would walk into our house.
There was another realization, which has taken a while to acknowledge and reconcile to. And that was the loss of old friendships. Those that I had grown up with had already dispersed to different parts of the world. Most of my friends were in their early parenting years with lives centering on their progeny. Conversations now were shorter and less intimate. We were content just to learn that the other was well, or hasten to offer help if needed. Everyone was busy with their careers and managing their households Without even knowing it, our outlooks were becoming divergent. The commonalities - shared desires, activities and aspirations - had shrunk. I was the outlier. The one that had never desired children. Even those that I had been close to the past few years began to drift away, slowly but surely. Now that the context had changed, maybe we just did not have that much relevance in each others existence. I was feeling the effects of my personality and decisions. It had become lonely out there...
But that doesn’t make life gloomy and I am not moping about with a long face. These are just realizations that come with the passage of time and advancing of years…some that one rues at and reminisces, and others that bring a smile on one's face. Like my work, which is pretty intense and offers room for creativity and having a positive impact on people. I constantly get the opportunity to work with new people around the world, both within and outside my company. I travel extensively. There is energy and excitement.
And a new friend at home who is quite a delight!
Health has been great...
Or is that changing again?? In the past month one of my oldest friend’s has reappeared...bronchial asthma! Nothing serious. Just a friendly reminder that he is never too far away... The familiar constriction of the lungs on occasion. Affected sleep. There is suspicion that it may have something to do with our four legged friend…hair being shed from his coat may be triggering off the allergic condition. But we are fortunate to have an outside area for him to live and play in. So we shall keep a close watch.
In April, 2008 I began my life in this new country. I was now officially a ‘foreigner’…my identity card had the letters FIN (Foreigner Identification Number) printed on it.
Over two years have passed since then and I have slowly begun to acknowledge changes that have taken place in my life. The first was on the health front, which improved significantly after moving to Singapore. For perhaps the first time, I was able to expand my chest and fill my lungs with air without hearing a wheezing sound. I ran a 5km race within a month of arriving in town. I started exercising and training. The nature of my work and even the workplace changed dramatically. From a noisy and buzzing office in Bangalore that was filled with meetings from morning to night and where every day revealed a new crisis, I was now in a global role where appointments were made and respected, life revolved around conference calls which people diligently prepared for, and my cell phone would ring only occasionally. I traveled to different countries and worked actively with new cultures - learning and advising - and was fascinated to discover similarities and differences from my own.
Outside of work, I sensed some degree of ethnic centricity in how people lived their social lives. They tended to congregate and mingle within familiar boundaries. Indians with other Indians. Chinese with the Chinese. Brits, Aussies and Americans with their like (or 'Caucasians' as they are often referred to in Asia). Not to say that this is all very stark and restrictive, but that is the general picture…
The desire to have a dog grew stronger. It had been many years since I had one running around the house. Constant change of cities and unrelenting work pressure had kept me from making the commitment thus far. But now was really the time, I felt. It would still take two years before a puppy would walk into our house.
There was another realization, which has taken a while to acknowledge and reconcile to. And that was the loss of old friendships. Those that I had grown up with had already dispersed to different parts of the world. Most of my friends were in their early parenting years with lives centering on their progeny. Conversations now were shorter and less intimate. We were content just to learn that the other was well, or hasten to offer help if needed. Everyone was busy with their careers and managing their households Without even knowing it, our outlooks were becoming divergent. The commonalities - shared desires, activities and aspirations - had shrunk. I was the outlier. The one that had never desired children. Even those that I had been close to the past few years began to drift away, slowly but surely. Now that the context had changed, maybe we just did not have that much relevance in each others existence. I was feeling the effects of my personality and decisions. It had become lonely out there...
But that doesn’t make life gloomy and I am not moping about with a long face. These are just realizations that come with the passage of time and advancing of years…some that one rues at and reminisces, and others that bring a smile on one's face. Like my work, which is pretty intense and offers room for creativity and having a positive impact on people. I constantly get the opportunity to work with new people around the world, both within and outside my company. I travel extensively. There is energy and excitement.
And a new friend at home who is quite a delight!
Health has been great...
Or is that changing again?? In the past month one of my oldest friend’s has reappeared...bronchial asthma! Nothing serious. Just a friendly reminder that he is never too far away... The familiar constriction of the lungs on occasion. Affected sleep. There is suspicion that it may have something to do with our four legged friend…hair being shed from his coat may be triggering off the allergic condition. But we are fortunate to have an outside area for him to live and play in. So we shall keep a close watch.
I am determined to do everything in my power to stay healthy and productive…as I am to experience the joy of a wonderful pet at home. That is not too much to ask out of life, is it?
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Joie de vivre
4.05 kilometers
310 calories
22 minutes
An incongruous set of numbers to some. Gibberish to others. And for the fitness freaks, hardly a big deal!
But to me these figures held some significance. As I stepped off the treadmill my eyes lingered on them just a while longer and images flashed across my eyes.
The reception of my office in Delhi as I gasped for breath...waking up in the middle of the night covered under a torn green sheet in a strange hospital bed...the blurred images as I struggled to focus my bloodshot eyes after the blood vessels had burst...and the scars over my hands that remained long enough to remind me of the ordeal my body had been through.
It was not all that long ago...in fact precisely three years to the day.
As I wiped the sweat off my face and greeted my trainer to begin yet another intensive workout, more images flashed by... The sudden asthma attack which rapidly escalated into a cardiac arrest and caused my heart to stop. The horror that my family went through as I was literally dragged back from the edge. The look on my friends faces when they visited me in the hospital. The messages of concern, love and well being from different corners of the world. All formed a nice little collage in my brain. While I pumped iron.
Thirty one sets later my affectionate and caring trainer concluded my workout with a stretching session and I walked out and filled my lungs with the fresh Singapore air.
I had work to do, calls to attend to, projects to execute and plans to formulate. The calendar was filled with appointments. Travel was on the cards. Even the weekend held promise...I would connect with people from the microfinance company. My parents were visiting me and settling into a relaxed holiday schedule. And we were preparing for the big event in our lives...the new puppy would arrive from Sydney in a few days!
What a privileged existence!!
This opportunity to live life!
To struggle and strive.
To help and guide.
To listen and learn.
To befriend and trust.
To love and lose.
To grieve.
To try and then fail.
To give and to receive...
And before I carry forth with this miserable attempt at poetry, thankfully I glance at the watch. The date is past. The future beckons...
310 calories
22 minutes
An incongruous set of numbers to some. Gibberish to others. And for the fitness freaks, hardly a big deal!
But to me these figures held some significance. As I stepped off the treadmill my eyes lingered on them just a while longer and images flashed across my eyes.
The reception of my office in Delhi as I gasped for breath...waking up in the middle of the night covered under a torn green sheet in a strange hospital bed...the blurred images as I struggled to focus my bloodshot eyes after the blood vessels had burst...and the scars over my hands that remained long enough to remind me of the ordeal my body had been through.
It was not all that long ago...in fact precisely three years to the day.
As I wiped the sweat off my face and greeted my trainer to begin yet another intensive workout, more images flashed by... The sudden asthma attack which rapidly escalated into a cardiac arrest and caused my heart to stop. The horror that my family went through as I was literally dragged back from the edge. The look on my friends faces when they visited me in the hospital. The messages of concern, love and well being from different corners of the world. All formed a nice little collage in my brain. While I pumped iron.
Thirty one sets later my affectionate and caring trainer concluded my workout with a stretching session and I walked out and filled my lungs with the fresh Singapore air.
I had work to do, calls to attend to, projects to execute and plans to formulate. The calendar was filled with appointments. Travel was on the cards. Even the weekend held promise...I would connect with people from the microfinance company. My parents were visiting me and settling into a relaxed holiday schedule. And we were preparing for the big event in our lives...the new puppy would arrive from Sydney in a few days!
What a privileged existence!!
This opportunity to live life!
To struggle and strive.
To help and guide.
To listen and learn.
To befriend and trust.
To love and lose.
To grieve.
To try and then fail.
To give and to receive...
And before I carry forth with this miserable attempt at poetry, thankfully I glance at the watch. The date is past. The future beckons...
Friday, August 21, 2009
Thoughts from the Alps
It has been a long time since I was here...
A period of intense activity! Intense at work and intense in areas I have wished to pursue outside of my work. Yet, it has not been overwhelming or overly strenuous. I think somewhere my subconscious mind had willed me to act rather than contemplate...which probably explains this hiatus from the blog.
Now, as I find myself in the cradle of the Alps, sitting by the pond in the hotel I have checked into earlier in the day, with a glass of Blaufrankistch wine (I think I got that right!), the mind turns inwards and reflects upon the events of the past few weeks...
To start with, there was concerning news from home. My father, already affected after suffering two strokes in late 2007, had developed some further complications. Living away from one's parents is never easy and at times like this, one faces the eternal dilemma of rushing back home versus staying back. However, after a couple of weeks of diagnosis and treatment, it appeared that the new complication was in remission and I was a bit more at peace. I decided to move ahead with my short vacation which has brought us to Austria…a beautiful and charming country with a long and interesting history. I still plan to go early next month and spend a few days in Delhi from where I will continue to work whilst in parallel seeking further medical opinions.
The relationship with my father has been a strange one and has evolved over the years. During my growing years, I looked upon him as a strong willed man - honest, upright and always upfront. For a long time he remembered how I would refer to him as a 'no nonsense man'. Because of his nature, people would at times find him difficult to deal with…he had a sharp tongue and usually an opinion to the contrary! On the other hand, he was known for his generosity...ever willing and ready to help folks in need. In my earliest memories, I have known him to place the needs of others before his own. Whether it would mean taking someone’s child for a school or college admission, having people over at home from distant lands as they toured India, or taking relatives of an indisposed person to the hospital on his scooter everyday till the crisis was past, he was always at hand when the need arose. His tall and lanky figure was a dominating presence within our family and wider circle of friends. As I came into adolescence the clashes began…perhaps as I struggled to come into my own and he with letting go of his progeny. I rebelled and did several things that did not please him. As the years progressed, the relationship strained further…leading to a flashpoint as I walked out of my house after having made the decision to marry. It was a period of immense emotional turmoil within our small family, which eventually eased a couple of days before the wedding as he was persuaded by friends and family to attend the ceremony and give his blessings. Still things did not completely subside and thereafter began a phase of uneasy calm, which continued into the next decade as my work took me from city to city…leaving Delhi, the place of my birth, for Mumbai, then on to Bangalore, and last year to Singapore. All of this was terribly upsetting for my mother, torn as she was between the father and son. For my wife, this was equally distressing as she tried to come to terms with such strong emotions, the very causes of which were unclear to her. One thing did grow though…and that was the respect my father developed for my professional endeavours. Through all of our arguments and conflicts, he remained proud of the effort and progress he felt I was making.
Morbid as it may sound, I think his illness was again a turning point in our relationship as he underwent two successive strokes within the span of a week, which had a sudden and significant impact on his brain. His memory and comprehension were badly affected. A learned professor of modern European history who had taught in an institution of international repute for nearly three decades now could not even recall the date of birth of his only child. Or read the newspaper and understand the state of affairs around him. Gone also were the obstinacy, the fiery temper and sharp tongue. In the short span of a few days, his entire persona had undergone a transformation… However we are fortunate that physically he has remained relatively unaffected, being able to walk about and take care of his needs without aid from others. It could indeed have been a lot worse. Today he is much more placid and compliant. The dynamics in our house have changed. For years he was the dominant force, and my mother the one in compliance. This has now reversed and she has taken charge. She has learnt to use the mobile, get the groceries, manage the household and finances, all the while taking him for his medical check ups and overseeing his medication and wellbeing. My mother even took a computer course so she could be in touch with me over Skype and email. The strong willed woman, who once gave up her career to rear her child, has emerged from the shadows and started afresh…after a 35 year hiatus and when she is well into her 70s!
I feel that my father and I now share a different equation, entirely devoid of the strife we had experienced over the years. My conversations with him are much like the one’s he may have had with me when I was a child. I check in on his daily routine and the progress he is making on the ‘tasks’ I have assigned him…has he been reading? How many pages written in the last few days? I test his memory with some facts and questions. He sounds upbeat and eager to talk…but then has nothing to say after a couple of sentences. Often, the same questions are repeated. When will I be visiting? How is work? Where did I travel? Are we doing all right? Earlier this year, after much persuasion, they visited us in Singapore for a couple of months…a much needed change of scenery and an opportunity to recuperate in a different environment. It did make some difference. But the progress is really slow and I wonder to what extent a recovery will take place. I don’t expect that it will be the way it was before. Nothing ever is, is it?
A period of intense activity! Intense at work and intense in areas I have wished to pursue outside of my work. Yet, it has not been overwhelming or overly strenuous. I think somewhere my subconscious mind had willed me to act rather than contemplate...which probably explains this hiatus from the blog.
Now, as I find myself in the cradle of the Alps, sitting by the pond in the hotel I have checked into earlier in the day, with a glass of Blaufrankistch wine (I think I got that right!), the mind turns inwards and reflects upon the events of the past few weeks...
To start with, there was concerning news from home. My father, already affected after suffering two strokes in late 2007, had developed some further complications. Living away from one's parents is never easy and at times like this, one faces the eternal dilemma of rushing back home versus staying back. However, after a couple of weeks of diagnosis and treatment, it appeared that the new complication was in remission and I was a bit more at peace. I decided to move ahead with my short vacation which has brought us to Austria…a beautiful and charming country with a long and interesting history. I still plan to go early next month and spend a few days in Delhi from where I will continue to work whilst in parallel seeking further medical opinions.
The relationship with my father has been a strange one and has evolved over the years. During my growing years, I looked upon him as a strong willed man - honest, upright and always upfront. For a long time he remembered how I would refer to him as a 'no nonsense man'. Because of his nature, people would at times find him difficult to deal with…he had a sharp tongue and usually an opinion to the contrary! On the other hand, he was known for his generosity...ever willing and ready to help folks in need. In my earliest memories, I have known him to place the needs of others before his own. Whether it would mean taking someone’s child for a school or college admission, having people over at home from distant lands as they toured India, or taking relatives of an indisposed person to the hospital on his scooter everyday till the crisis was past, he was always at hand when the need arose. His tall and lanky figure was a dominating presence within our family and wider circle of friends. As I came into adolescence the clashes began…perhaps as I struggled to come into my own and he with letting go of his progeny. I rebelled and did several things that did not please him. As the years progressed, the relationship strained further…leading to a flashpoint as I walked out of my house after having made the decision to marry. It was a period of immense emotional turmoil within our small family, which eventually eased a couple of days before the wedding as he was persuaded by friends and family to attend the ceremony and give his blessings. Still things did not completely subside and thereafter began a phase of uneasy calm, which continued into the next decade as my work took me from city to city…leaving Delhi, the place of my birth, for Mumbai, then on to Bangalore, and last year to Singapore. All of this was terribly upsetting for my mother, torn as she was between the father and son. For my wife, this was equally distressing as she tried to come to terms with such strong emotions, the very causes of which were unclear to her. One thing did grow though…and that was the respect my father developed for my professional endeavours. Through all of our arguments and conflicts, he remained proud of the effort and progress he felt I was making.
Morbid as it may sound, I think his illness was again a turning point in our relationship as he underwent two successive strokes within the span of a week, which had a sudden and significant impact on his brain. His memory and comprehension were badly affected. A learned professor of modern European history who had taught in an institution of international repute for nearly three decades now could not even recall the date of birth of his only child. Or read the newspaper and understand the state of affairs around him. Gone also were the obstinacy, the fiery temper and sharp tongue. In the short span of a few days, his entire persona had undergone a transformation… However we are fortunate that physically he has remained relatively unaffected, being able to walk about and take care of his needs without aid from others. It could indeed have been a lot worse. Today he is much more placid and compliant. The dynamics in our house have changed. For years he was the dominant force, and my mother the one in compliance. This has now reversed and she has taken charge. She has learnt to use the mobile, get the groceries, manage the household and finances, all the while taking him for his medical check ups and overseeing his medication and wellbeing. My mother even took a computer course so she could be in touch with me over Skype and email. The strong willed woman, who once gave up her career to rear her child, has emerged from the shadows and started afresh…after a 35 year hiatus and when she is well into her 70s!
I feel that my father and I now share a different equation, entirely devoid of the strife we had experienced over the years. My conversations with him are much like the one’s he may have had with me when I was a child. I check in on his daily routine and the progress he is making on the ‘tasks’ I have assigned him…has he been reading? How many pages written in the last few days? I test his memory with some facts and questions. He sounds upbeat and eager to talk…but then has nothing to say after a couple of sentences. Often, the same questions are repeated. When will I be visiting? How is work? Where did I travel? Are we doing all right? Earlier this year, after much persuasion, they visited us in Singapore for a couple of months…a much needed change of scenery and an opportunity to recuperate in a different environment. It did make some difference. But the progress is really slow and I wonder to what extent a recovery will take place. I don’t expect that it will be the way it was before. Nothing ever is, is it?
Friday, June 12, 2009
Misfit?
It has been a long time since I went to a party. Really long. And I don't mean cocktails or a social dinner or a small cosy gathering of friends. I haven't been that antisocial. I find myself spending most weekends in reading and reflection. I ponder over what is and what can be. I meet few people and then mostly those with whom I feel I can have a meaningful interaction...which I quite look forward to. It is time, I feel, spent in crystalising ideas that may benefit fellow homo sapiens some day...though the jury is still out on that. So when confronted with the prospects of a party - and I mean a real party ... with music, dancing, drinking, socialising ... The 3am cab ride back home. And rocks in the head next morning. A wasted Saturday. The works! Now that stops me dead in my tracks.
I realised this when recently a friend of mine invited me to one and I got all squirmy and fidgety. I asked her why she would bother calling me. But she still persisted and ... a couple of reminder smses later ... just when my protest would be expected to wane in the face of strong headwind ... I found myself even more adamant and determined to stay away from any form of revelry. Politeness would have meant declining with the usual partyline (pun unintended) "Oh, we would have sooo loved to be there but had this prior commitment to spend an evening with a friend's 88 year old grandmother who has been abandoned by her debauched progeny. She is soooo lonely and it will break her fragile heart if we dont show up. Damn!!"
No sir. I would not lie my way out of this (or for that matter anything else) and plainly stated that I had really no interest in being in a party.
I would rather spend the evening in the company of man's best friend. And here I am referring to Single Malt Whisky. A true companion that ages elegantly and remains ever loyal.
Which is exactly what I am doing right now.
Just when the party must be cranking up .
'Cos the invitation was for tonight.
Guilty?? Hmmm...
After all, it is her son's birthday. She has called her friends in Singapore to provide joy and cheer to the boy who spends majority of the year in a boarding school. I wish him well for a long and fruitful life. I find solace knowing that a recluse like me would anyway not be a great influence on such young, impressionable minds. Let them just meet normal, happy human beings.
What causes me to shy away from such forms of - what would be considered by most - simple joys and pleasures of modern existence??
Misfit, aren't I??
I realised this when recently a friend of mine invited me to one and I got all squirmy and fidgety. I asked her why she would bother calling me. But she still persisted and ... a couple of reminder smses later ... just when my protest would be expected to wane in the face of strong headwind ... I found myself even more adamant and determined to stay away from any form of revelry. Politeness would have meant declining with the usual partyline (pun unintended) "Oh, we would have sooo loved to be there but had this prior commitment to spend an evening with a friend's 88 year old grandmother who has been abandoned by her debauched progeny. She is soooo lonely and it will break her fragile heart if we dont show up. Damn!!"
No sir. I would not lie my way out of this (or for that matter anything else) and plainly stated that I had really no interest in being in a party.
I would rather spend the evening in the company of man's best friend. And here I am referring to Single Malt Whisky. A true companion that ages elegantly and remains ever loyal.
Which is exactly what I am doing right now.
Just when the party must be cranking up .
'Cos the invitation was for tonight.
Guilty?? Hmmm...
After all, it is her son's birthday. She has called her friends in Singapore to provide joy and cheer to the boy who spends majority of the year in a boarding school. I wish him well for a long and fruitful life. I find solace knowing that a recluse like me would anyway not be a great influence on such young, impressionable minds. Let them just meet normal, happy human beings.
What causes me to shy away from such forms of - what would be considered by most - simple joys and pleasures of modern existence??
Misfit, aren't I??
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Competence, Character and a Desire to Excel
For a while now, my mind has been occupied by thoughts on the nature of leadership we need in society. Perhaps it has to do with my workplace which has given me an opportunity to interact with people from diverse backgrounds. Or my profession, which in essence is about helping unlock the inherent potential of people. Or, as is likely, it may be a deeper, latent desire to contribute to development of people in a setting in a broader sense than I have been able to do thus far. Whatever be the reason, I often find myself contemplating on this subject. And in an attempt to progress from thought to action, I have decided to put pen to paper and see where that leads me.
So here goes…
Leadership conjures up many different images, and there are literally millions of views out there about what it means and how it can be developed. There are theories which on the one end of the spectrum derive lessons from history and ancient scriptures, and on the other end offer instant ‘leader-in-a-minute’ solutions. I don’t intend to enter into any debate on the meaning or definition of leadership, nor propound new theories. In my simplistic mind, I think about leadership in a pretty wide ranging sense…from the political arena to the creative and the professional. My thoughts are about leadership that benefits the society and humanity…hence it encompasses a vast array of fields including government, politics, academics, science and technology, arts, sports, business, philanthropy and entrepreneurship.
The question that has been twirling around in my brain is – what traits should our next generation of leaders embody?
There are three that resonate most with me – Competence, Character and a Desire to Excel. Here is what I mean by each of these…
Competence is the culmination of skills, knowledge and aptitude. We commonly focus on helping people acquire skills and knowledge which are considered essential for them to be employable and productive. However, I feel this focus addresses only one dimension of the equation. By providing skills and knowledge to millions of people, we can create a society where individuals can be self-sufficient. And also self-serving. Skills and knowledge can be effectively imparted through education and experience. The other part of the equation is aptitude, i.e. the innate abilities that each human being on this planet possesses. If we are able to provide skills and knowledge to people in line with their aptitude, we get competence. As a society, we can create a generation of competent leaders if we are able to identify the aptitude of people early, and then power it with the right set of skills and knowledge.
Character is all about doing the right thing. And to do the right thing, one needs to know what is right, and also who it is right for. Contemporary institutions of learning (certainly several that I am familiar with) teach people to do the right thing for themselves. This is further reinforced when people enter the professional arena and learn the harsh realities of the real world, which incentivises and recognizes material individual success over all else. As to those less fortunate who do not have access even to basic education, such lofty questions don’t arise as they fight with fellow human beings every step of the way and for every morsel of food. However, building character in leaders is important for societies that want to progress. Character is about knowing and doing what is right for oneself, one’s immediate surroundings (family, friends, organization, etc.), as well as the community in which we grow up, live and work. Character is about knowing one’s obligations and discharging those obligations. Character has to do with achieving alignment between one’s beliefs, intentions and actions.
A Desire to Excel is a desire to continuously push the boundary of creativity and innovation. It is an innate need to surpass one’s own limitations and those set by others. It is borne out of an unrelenting focus and the application of one’s craft, and dedicating oneself to the creation of wonderful products and solutions. Inculcating in people the desire to excel is to get them to reject mediocrity and lethargy. For those that choose the pursuit of excellence, it means learning to accept challenges, roadblocks and rejection as a necessary and welcome part of the path to progress. Finally, a desire to excel can be stoked only once people learn to value the virtues of industriousness and perseverance, and the knowledge that that there is no quick and clear destination…but that the journey itself is significant and joyous.
Why do we need to have leaders with Competence, Character, and a Desire to Excel?
I have grown up in India, a country of over a billion people. A country which now prides itself as an emerging global power and is regularly making headlines around the world…as the world’s largest thriving democracy, for having a uniquely talented workforce with skills that are globally relevant, and now also as the home to some of the world’s richest and most powerful people. Yet, it is also a country of rampant corruption, a society lacking in basic civic sense, a land of extreme poverty and vast polarization between the rich and the poor.
There are many reasons for why India is the way it is, but one piece of the puzzle lies in how we educate people, the values we instill in them and how we define, recognize and reward achievement.
Over the past fifty years, we have made tremendous strides in emerging from subjugation into a global power. Today, India can produce two and a half million graduates every year and over ten million people enter the labour pool annually. We have clearly demonstrated the ability to produce a vast number of capable individuals…engineers, lawyers, technicians, academics, doctors, scientists, actors and sportspersons. We are blessed with having the youngest workers in the world at a time when most countries are dealing with issues of an ageing workforce. But as a society we have failed to be progressive. Our education system can produce masses of talented individuals, the values we inculcate in our children are about pursuing material individual gain, and what we recognize and reward are individual success stories. But we neither teach, nor value the role of individuals to act as a collective…thereby requiring the forthcoming generation to understand and discharge obligations as members of a society. We have been able to provide skills to our people and give them a livelihood, but we have not created vibrant and ethical citizens who can collectively propel a nation forward.
I believe it is possible to change this. It is possible for us to create the next generation of leaders who are talented and committed to a broader purpose and in a manner that is beneficial to the society and the country. And that this can be done in every arena – politics, government, judiciary, business, sciences, liberal arts, creative fields, as well as in sports.
I don’t have all the answers on how we can achieve this. I also don’t know whether this can be achieved at scale, or is a utopian concept which can only take root within a cocooned environment. But I do have some ideas which are slowly taking shape in my brain. These ideas have to do with helping build a new generation of leaders who will be Competent, have Character and a Desire to Excel.
I know there are people out there with similar intentions, and who may have taken many more strides in acting upon such ideas. I hope to find them so I can lend a helping hand. As I hope to progress my thinking into action…
So here goes…
Leadership conjures up many different images, and there are literally millions of views out there about what it means and how it can be developed. There are theories which on the one end of the spectrum derive lessons from history and ancient scriptures, and on the other end offer instant ‘leader-in-a-minute’ solutions. I don’t intend to enter into any debate on the meaning or definition of leadership, nor propound new theories. In my simplistic mind, I think about leadership in a pretty wide ranging sense…from the political arena to the creative and the professional. My thoughts are about leadership that benefits the society and humanity…hence it encompasses a vast array of fields including government, politics, academics, science and technology, arts, sports, business, philanthropy and entrepreneurship.
The question that has been twirling around in my brain is – what traits should our next generation of leaders embody?
There are three that resonate most with me – Competence, Character and a Desire to Excel. Here is what I mean by each of these…
Competence is the culmination of skills, knowledge and aptitude. We commonly focus on helping people acquire skills and knowledge which are considered essential for them to be employable and productive. However, I feel this focus addresses only one dimension of the equation. By providing skills and knowledge to millions of people, we can create a society where individuals can be self-sufficient. And also self-serving. Skills and knowledge can be effectively imparted through education and experience. The other part of the equation is aptitude, i.e. the innate abilities that each human being on this planet possesses. If we are able to provide skills and knowledge to people in line with their aptitude, we get competence. As a society, we can create a generation of competent leaders if we are able to identify the aptitude of people early, and then power it with the right set of skills and knowledge.
Character is all about doing the right thing. And to do the right thing, one needs to know what is right, and also who it is right for. Contemporary institutions of learning (certainly several that I am familiar with) teach people to do the right thing for themselves. This is further reinforced when people enter the professional arena and learn the harsh realities of the real world, which incentivises and recognizes material individual success over all else. As to those less fortunate who do not have access even to basic education, such lofty questions don’t arise as they fight with fellow human beings every step of the way and for every morsel of food. However, building character in leaders is important for societies that want to progress. Character is about knowing and doing what is right for oneself, one’s immediate surroundings (family, friends, organization, etc.), as well as the community in which we grow up, live and work. Character is about knowing one’s obligations and discharging those obligations. Character has to do with achieving alignment between one’s beliefs, intentions and actions.
A Desire to Excel is a desire to continuously push the boundary of creativity and innovation. It is an innate need to surpass one’s own limitations and those set by others. It is borne out of an unrelenting focus and the application of one’s craft, and dedicating oneself to the creation of wonderful products and solutions. Inculcating in people the desire to excel is to get them to reject mediocrity and lethargy. For those that choose the pursuit of excellence, it means learning to accept challenges, roadblocks and rejection as a necessary and welcome part of the path to progress. Finally, a desire to excel can be stoked only once people learn to value the virtues of industriousness and perseverance, and the knowledge that that there is no quick and clear destination…but that the journey itself is significant and joyous.
Why do we need to have leaders with Competence, Character, and a Desire to Excel?
I have grown up in India, a country of over a billion people. A country which now prides itself as an emerging global power and is regularly making headlines around the world…as the world’s largest thriving democracy, for having a uniquely talented workforce with skills that are globally relevant, and now also as the home to some of the world’s richest and most powerful people. Yet, it is also a country of rampant corruption, a society lacking in basic civic sense, a land of extreme poverty and vast polarization between the rich and the poor.
There are many reasons for why India is the way it is, but one piece of the puzzle lies in how we educate people, the values we instill in them and how we define, recognize and reward achievement.
Over the past fifty years, we have made tremendous strides in emerging from subjugation into a global power. Today, India can produce two and a half million graduates every year and over ten million people enter the labour pool annually. We have clearly demonstrated the ability to produce a vast number of capable individuals…engineers, lawyers, technicians, academics, doctors, scientists, actors and sportspersons. We are blessed with having the youngest workers in the world at a time when most countries are dealing with issues of an ageing workforce. But as a society we have failed to be progressive. Our education system can produce masses of talented individuals, the values we inculcate in our children are about pursuing material individual gain, and what we recognize and reward are individual success stories. But we neither teach, nor value the role of individuals to act as a collective…thereby requiring the forthcoming generation to understand and discharge obligations as members of a society. We have been able to provide skills to our people and give them a livelihood, but we have not created vibrant and ethical citizens who can collectively propel a nation forward.
I believe it is possible to change this. It is possible for us to create the next generation of leaders who are talented and committed to a broader purpose and in a manner that is beneficial to the society and the country. And that this can be done in every arena – politics, government, judiciary, business, sciences, liberal arts, creative fields, as well as in sports.
I don’t have all the answers on how we can achieve this. I also don’t know whether this can be achieved at scale, or is a utopian concept which can only take root within a cocooned environment. But I do have some ideas which are slowly taking shape in my brain. These ideas have to do with helping build a new generation of leaders who will be Competent, have Character and a Desire to Excel.
I know there are people out there with similar intentions, and who may have taken many more strides in acting upon such ideas. I hope to find them so I can lend a helping hand. As I hope to progress my thinking into action…
Sunday, April 19, 2009
One Month
That is how long it has been since I last wrote on this blog.
The last 30 days have gone by in a haze and a blur. I spent three weeks in USA traveling to various cities. I started off in Chicago and then went to Detroit. Returned to Chicago. Then off again to Pittsburgh, followed by a weekend in Long Island...and back again to Pittsburgh before making the long flight back home. I had jet lag on the way in, jet lag through much of my stay…and jet lag for a whole week after I was back. I really don’t know why I have such great difficulty dealing with long distance travel. Partly it has to do with insomnia. Just when I thought I had seen the end of it, back it comes with a bang and haunts me for weeks. I could hardly sleep on the 19 hour transatlantic flights, even though the airline does much to make things very comfortable for the long distance business traveler. I tried every trick in the book – switched to the new time zone by staying up during the day time of the destination, ate little, drank little…and that too only a bit of wine hoping it would put me to sleep. But no. Neither would I be able to sleep, nor could I be productive as the brain would be whirring around in circles and refuse to centre on anything of consequence. The haze would envelope me for days…and it is only recently that I feel it lifting. Anyhow, enough whining! Like many other things, insomnia too tests one’s endurance and persistence. It challenges my ability to be productive. As it does my resolve to open the laptop and give a coherent outpouring to my thoughts through the means of this blog. So after a hiatus of a month, I am determined to resume my tryst with myself and a few other people who sometimes drop into this little corner. I feel rusty…somewhat like out of form sportsmen desperately trying to get back their rhythm. But try I shall!
The trip to USA was interesting. I have been a regular visitor there, especially in these last couple of years, and have closely observed changes in the mood and public sentiment. Not very difficult to do in a country of fairly expressive people! A common theme evident to me over the past year has been a sense of resignation, apprehension, stress...even tiredness in the people of the nation. You would expect that in an economy which was steadily sinking into recession. And now, that sense is pervasive across the globe as the vast majority of countries are reeling under the impact of a wave that emanated from Wall Street, spread to Main Street and has engulfed vast portions of the world.
But during this visit, I did discern signs of change. Not that anything was fundamentally different– the economic indices continued to point downwards signaling further troubles, the financial institutions were still battered, the iconic automotive industry gasped for breath and unemployment levels continued their upward surge. More and more people – vastly experienced corporate, economic and political leaders - have stated that these are the toughest conditions they have experienced in their lifetimes. However, the pervasive sense of doom and gloom has now given way to something one had not felt in a long time. Hope! Very subtle and not evident at the surface, but I am sure I sensed it. And given that I had visited after a long, harsh winter which had also heralded one of the greatest and historic change in the political landscape of this country, I am bound to attribute this hope to the one man who is looking to chart a new course, not just for the people of his wonderful country, but for much of the modern world. Barack Obama - the man who can do no wrong! He has indeed inspired the people of US to see beyond their troubles of today and strive for a better tomorrow. I wish this new age icon is able to realize his dreams and those of the nation he now leads.
However, as I said before, there is no evidence of this change at the surface. What is visible instead is the effect of recession in daily life. At the airport, passengers are made to pay for their carry on baggage, up in the air they are not served snacks and drinks, restaurants in downtown areas bear a deserted look. And the malls! An endless array of sales with each retail outlet jostling to outdo the other to capture the attention of passers by…but still not much luck! Clearly more people are browsing than purchasing. Not something I had seen at this time of the year and at such scale. So…what few visible effects I could capture digitally found their way onto this blog in the post below.
How long will this recession last? Will things get even worse? When will the stock markets rebound? When will companies offer a positive outlook? When will people be able to stop worrying about losing their jobs? For those that have lost theirs, when will they regain employment? Are we talking months, quarters, years???
All of us have these questions in our minds. And many have predictions…which range from a relatively quick rebound, to what is being referred to as the “long freeze”. Explanations abound on the causes of this recession. As can be expected, there are also a fair number of remonstrations of the “I told you so” variety. For a person that cannot fathom the various complexities and intricacies of this world, all I have been able to gather is that the prevailing climate has been popularly attributed to the unbridled greed of a few. Greed that pervaded the entire globally interconnected economic system which eventually collapsed under its own weight. I do not know which theory is right, what analysis precise or which prediction accurate…but I do feel that all of these are not of much consequence.
What really matters is the lesson we learn from this new challenge. As is the case with any challenge or calamity, this one too presents opportunity for learning. Some challenges that we face in our lives we attribute to our own actions, others to the result of collective actions of people. And then there are those whose causation is beyond our comprehension and we attribute it to the will of the almighty. Irrespective of its cause, adversity can be a great teacher…if only we choose to be keen students. So this recession can be a unique opportunity for individuals, organizations, and even nations to learn, adapt and progress. I do not have the wisdom to make predictions or offer lessons. But I do know that there are those who will emerge from this wiser, some will be wealthier and stronger, and yet others healthier and happier. A few will fade away with shattered dreams and broken wills.
Certainly virtue is like precious odors, most fragrant when they are incensed, or crushed: for prosperity doth best discover vice, but adversity doth best discover virtue. Sir Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626)
The last 30 days have gone by in a haze and a blur. I spent three weeks in USA traveling to various cities. I started off in Chicago and then went to Detroit. Returned to Chicago. Then off again to Pittsburgh, followed by a weekend in Long Island...and back again to Pittsburgh before making the long flight back home. I had jet lag on the way in, jet lag through much of my stay…and jet lag for a whole week after I was back. I really don’t know why I have such great difficulty dealing with long distance travel. Partly it has to do with insomnia. Just when I thought I had seen the end of it, back it comes with a bang and haunts me for weeks. I could hardly sleep on the 19 hour transatlantic flights, even though the airline does much to make things very comfortable for the long distance business traveler. I tried every trick in the book – switched to the new time zone by staying up during the day time of the destination, ate little, drank little…and that too only a bit of wine hoping it would put me to sleep. But no. Neither would I be able to sleep, nor could I be productive as the brain would be whirring around in circles and refuse to centre on anything of consequence. The haze would envelope me for days…and it is only recently that I feel it lifting. Anyhow, enough whining! Like many other things, insomnia too tests one’s endurance and persistence. It challenges my ability to be productive. As it does my resolve to open the laptop and give a coherent outpouring to my thoughts through the means of this blog. So after a hiatus of a month, I am determined to resume my tryst with myself and a few other people who sometimes drop into this little corner. I feel rusty…somewhat like out of form sportsmen desperately trying to get back their rhythm. But try I shall!
The trip to USA was interesting. I have been a regular visitor there, especially in these last couple of years, and have closely observed changes in the mood and public sentiment. Not very difficult to do in a country of fairly expressive people! A common theme evident to me over the past year has been a sense of resignation, apprehension, stress...even tiredness in the people of the nation. You would expect that in an economy which was steadily sinking into recession. And now, that sense is pervasive across the globe as the vast majority of countries are reeling under the impact of a wave that emanated from Wall Street, spread to Main Street and has engulfed vast portions of the world.
But during this visit, I did discern signs of change. Not that anything was fundamentally different– the economic indices continued to point downwards signaling further troubles, the financial institutions were still battered, the iconic automotive industry gasped for breath and unemployment levels continued their upward surge. More and more people – vastly experienced corporate, economic and political leaders - have stated that these are the toughest conditions they have experienced in their lifetimes. However, the pervasive sense of doom and gloom has now given way to something one had not felt in a long time. Hope! Very subtle and not evident at the surface, but I am sure I sensed it. And given that I had visited after a long, harsh winter which had also heralded one of the greatest and historic change in the political landscape of this country, I am bound to attribute this hope to the one man who is looking to chart a new course, not just for the people of his wonderful country, but for much of the modern world. Barack Obama - the man who can do no wrong! He has indeed inspired the people of US to see beyond their troubles of today and strive for a better tomorrow. I wish this new age icon is able to realize his dreams and those of the nation he now leads.
However, as I said before, there is no evidence of this change at the surface. What is visible instead is the effect of recession in daily life. At the airport, passengers are made to pay for their carry on baggage, up in the air they are not served snacks and drinks, restaurants in downtown areas bear a deserted look. And the malls! An endless array of sales with each retail outlet jostling to outdo the other to capture the attention of passers by…but still not much luck! Clearly more people are browsing than purchasing. Not something I had seen at this time of the year and at such scale. So…what few visible effects I could capture digitally found their way onto this blog in the post below.
How long will this recession last? Will things get even worse? When will the stock markets rebound? When will companies offer a positive outlook? When will people be able to stop worrying about losing their jobs? For those that have lost theirs, when will they regain employment? Are we talking months, quarters, years???
All of us have these questions in our minds. And many have predictions…which range from a relatively quick rebound, to what is being referred to as the “long freeze”. Explanations abound on the causes of this recession. As can be expected, there are also a fair number of remonstrations of the “I told you so” variety. For a person that cannot fathom the various complexities and intricacies of this world, all I have been able to gather is that the prevailing climate has been popularly attributed to the unbridled greed of a few. Greed that pervaded the entire globally interconnected economic system which eventually collapsed under its own weight. I do not know which theory is right, what analysis precise or which prediction accurate…but I do feel that all of these are not of much consequence.
What really matters is the lesson we learn from this new challenge. As is the case with any challenge or calamity, this one too presents opportunity for learning. Some challenges that we face in our lives we attribute to our own actions, others to the result of collective actions of people. And then there are those whose causation is beyond our comprehension and we attribute it to the will of the almighty. Irrespective of its cause, adversity can be a great teacher…if only we choose to be keen students. So this recession can be a unique opportunity for individuals, organizations, and even nations to learn, adapt and progress. I do not have the wisdom to make predictions or offer lessons. But I do know that there are those who will emerge from this wiser, some will be wealthier and stronger, and yet others healthier and happier. A few will fade away with shattered dreams and broken wills.
Certainly virtue is like precious odors, most fragrant when they are incensed, or crushed: for prosperity doth best discover vice, but adversity doth best discover virtue. Sir Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626)
Sunday, March 1, 2009
A day of celebration
March 2. A date that now has more significance for me than any other day of the year, birthday included. It is a day of acute and intense realisation. Of acknowledgement. Of bowing to the powers above. Of celebrating this wonderful gift called life...
The year was 2007. Just two years ago. It had been two months since I had returned to work rejuvenated after a four month sabbatical. Time that I had taken for reflection...and to repair the damages caused by thirteen relentless years at work which had taken a heavy toll on the body. It was an opportunity graciously accorded to me by my generous colleagues who stepped in to handle different aspects of my responsibilities so I could focus entirely on myself.
I had utilised my break well. I relaxed, read, began to exercise regularly and walked for hours along the beaches of Goa. I rid myself of unnecessary habits like smoking. I went for long drives. And I undertook extensive therapy for my severe asthmatic condition, including spending a fortnight at a holistic healing centre under the care of a renowned doctor who had treated many difficult conditions. By the time I returned to work on January 1, 2007, I was healed and rejuvenated. Entirely ready to step back and take on work with renewed vigour and energy.
So the events of March 2 came as a surprise, not just to me but also to my family, friends and colleagues who had been delighted to see me back in action.
I was on a business trip to Delhi. My wife had accompanied me this time as the upcoming weekend was Holi - the festival of colours – something we had missed celebrating for years having been away from the city. We were looking forward to catching up with our old friends. As was the norm whenever I traveled now, I exercised at the gym in the morning and proceeded for work to the office. I had a busy day ahead, full of meetings with various people. It was during one such meeting – I was in conversation with a colleague – when I started to feel a constriction in my lungs. Breathing became more laboured and I hastily ended the conversation, leaving him slightly puzzled at the abruptness with which the proceedings had come to a halt. When alone in the room, I broke into a sweat and struggled to breathe. Several puffs from my inhaler followed and I rushed out into the open for fresh air, desperately hoping for relief. Nothing worked. And finally, in a state of dizziness and asphyxiation, I stumbled into the reception and made a plea for medical help. From the corner of my eyes, I saw people converging towards me...and then I passed out. Blissfully unaware of the havoc I had unleashed around me.
Colleagues gathered around my unconscious body. One of them rushed to find oxygen. Calls were made for an ambulance. The first one to respond did not have an oxygen tank installed inside. Another call was made. I was lifted and taken down six floors in the elevator. A decision was being debated – should we wait for the ambulance or take him in a car? Will the ambulance with oxygen show up in time? Someone get a car quick!! Which is when, to everyone's relief, the ambulance containing oxygen pulled into the porch. Some colleagues jumped in. Others followed in cars. Needles and tubes were inserted to inject life into my body. I am told I fought valiantly to keep these off and needed to be forcefully pinned down to allow for the emergency treatment. The nearest hospital was a massive government institution not too far away. A call was made to my wife. She had gone to meet a close friend who had recently been blessed by twins. As I was wheeled into Emergency, a decision was made to move me to the ICU at the other end of the building. Colleagues and hospital staff ran alongside the stretcher, someone ahead paving way through the mass of people milling about so I could be reached there quickly. Another one holding up the transparent bottle containing precious life fluid. They ran a long way. And somewhere during this journey, my heart collapsed. By the time I reached the ICU, I had suffered a cardiac arrest – the breath was gone and heartbeat had stopped. Doctors put a machine on my chest to revive me. Unfortunately our public institutions are not always well equipped and the resuscitator did not start. Several doctors jumped in for CPR and with coordinated movements, they pounded on my chest. The medical report states that my heart had stopped for two minutes. The maximum it can last, someone said, was three. Finally, I breathed again.
When I regained consciousness it was past midnight and I found myself lying on a strange bed covered in a torn green sheet with needles and tubes all over my body. There was frenetic activity around me. Doctors were rushing from one bed to another. Shouting instructions at the nurses. What was I doing here?? I finally managed to get the attention of one doctor. I requested to be handed back my clothes so I could go home. I was ignored. A second attempt – more pleading than arguing now - and I was stonewalled again! No you may not go home. No you cannot meet anyone. Yes, your wife is outside. No you may not see her. STOP ARGUING!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH?? YOU HAD ALMOST DIED AND ARE LUCKY TO BE BACK. THIS IS AN ICU AND WE HAVE PEOPLE TO ATTEND TO!! SO PLEASE JUST LIE DOWN AND SLEEP. By next morning, I realised that some co-patients in beds around me were gone...
The next couple of days were a blur. I was transferred – this time in a high tech ambulance – to a private hospital in the other end of town. It took a while for me to be able to see clearly. When the fog cleared somewhat, I got to look into the mirror...and could not believe it was me I was seeing. There was a bloated face with puffed up and bloodshot eyes. The blood vessels in my eyes had ruptured during resuscitation – not an common occurrence when you are subjected to that kind of a physical assault to breathe life back into the body, as I was informed later. My doctor in Bangalore joked that I should have had a couple of cracked ribs as well.
In the days that followed, I underwent a battery of tests. Everything turned out to be normal. I could talk, walk, see and hear. My brain functioned as before. The chances of escaping unscathed from such an ordeal are slim. I was incredibly lucky to have been returned to this world in the same condition as I had almost left it. Those that had been with me through this time said it was a miracle that I was back the way I was. My colleagues – people who till then I had seen in a different life - had saved my life. And they stayed to help with whatever else my family needed. My organisation rallied to provide support. The outpouring of concern, love and care that I received was overwhelming. Colleagues, friends and well wishers called and sent messages from around the world. Friends and relatives came in and out of the hospital all the time, helping with everything from meals for my family to researching the emergency equipment I would need to carry with me once I was out of the hospital.
I often wonder what this experience was meant to be...is there a message for me? I feel truly privileged to be here on earth, and blessed to experience such love and warmth of people. I also can't help feeling that I am on a journey someplace. After all, this was not the first such experience of my life. I have had close calls before. These have shaped the way I perceive the world and my responsibilities towards others. Many things that occupied mind share have entirely ceased to matter...and others have taken their space in my thoughts. More than anything else, I feel an intense desire to make a contribution to the world around me. A desire to not waste this precious life which has been gifted back to me. I am certain that there is a purpose for my being here. A purpose beyond what is evident. And I need to find it and do justice to it. I do not feel the urge to abdicate what I have – my job, my surroundings – as I seek that purpose. I feel they are intrinsically linked to my existence. So I try to discharge my responsibilities at work with sincerity and readily undertake any work that comes my way. I feel thrilled to have an opportunity to contribute. And I don't sweat the small stuff. Not at work and not in my personal life. I look to make moments count. Moments when people approach me for help or advice. Or when I am in the presence of talented and hard working people from who I could learn. I get a nagging feeling that I have a lot to accomplish to do justice to my existence. At such moments, I turn to write so I could at least express my wishes hoping for someone out there to hear and show me the way.
The second anniversary draws near, memories come flooding back and thoughts turn inward again. I remember with immense gratitude all the people who came close to me and my family in that one moment. I hope I will be able to do for others what they did for us.
I did not get to celebrate Holi that year with my friends. Nor have I since then. But we did get to celebrate life itself...this most precious gift of God!
The year was 2007. Just two years ago. It had been two months since I had returned to work rejuvenated after a four month sabbatical. Time that I had taken for reflection...and to repair the damages caused by thirteen relentless years at work which had taken a heavy toll on the body. It was an opportunity graciously accorded to me by my generous colleagues who stepped in to handle different aspects of my responsibilities so I could focus entirely on myself.
I had utilised my break well. I relaxed, read, began to exercise regularly and walked for hours along the beaches of Goa. I rid myself of unnecessary habits like smoking. I went for long drives. And I undertook extensive therapy for my severe asthmatic condition, including spending a fortnight at a holistic healing centre under the care of a renowned doctor who had treated many difficult conditions. By the time I returned to work on January 1, 2007, I was healed and rejuvenated. Entirely ready to step back and take on work with renewed vigour and energy.
So the events of March 2 came as a surprise, not just to me but also to my family, friends and colleagues who had been delighted to see me back in action.
I was on a business trip to Delhi. My wife had accompanied me this time as the upcoming weekend was Holi - the festival of colours – something we had missed celebrating for years having been away from the city. We were looking forward to catching up with our old friends. As was the norm whenever I traveled now, I exercised at the gym in the morning and proceeded for work to the office. I had a busy day ahead, full of meetings with various people. It was during one such meeting – I was in conversation with a colleague – when I started to feel a constriction in my lungs. Breathing became more laboured and I hastily ended the conversation, leaving him slightly puzzled at the abruptness with which the proceedings had come to a halt. When alone in the room, I broke into a sweat and struggled to breathe. Several puffs from my inhaler followed and I rushed out into the open for fresh air, desperately hoping for relief. Nothing worked. And finally, in a state of dizziness and asphyxiation, I stumbled into the reception and made a plea for medical help. From the corner of my eyes, I saw people converging towards me...and then I passed out. Blissfully unaware of the havoc I had unleashed around me.
Colleagues gathered around my unconscious body. One of them rushed to find oxygen. Calls were made for an ambulance. The first one to respond did not have an oxygen tank installed inside. Another call was made. I was lifted and taken down six floors in the elevator. A decision was being debated – should we wait for the ambulance or take him in a car? Will the ambulance with oxygen show up in time? Someone get a car quick!! Which is when, to everyone's relief, the ambulance containing oxygen pulled into the porch. Some colleagues jumped in. Others followed in cars. Needles and tubes were inserted to inject life into my body. I am told I fought valiantly to keep these off and needed to be forcefully pinned down to allow for the emergency treatment. The nearest hospital was a massive government institution not too far away. A call was made to my wife. She had gone to meet a close friend who had recently been blessed by twins. As I was wheeled into Emergency, a decision was made to move me to the ICU at the other end of the building. Colleagues and hospital staff ran alongside the stretcher, someone ahead paving way through the mass of people milling about so I could be reached there quickly. Another one holding up the transparent bottle containing precious life fluid. They ran a long way. And somewhere during this journey, my heart collapsed. By the time I reached the ICU, I had suffered a cardiac arrest – the breath was gone and heartbeat had stopped. Doctors put a machine on my chest to revive me. Unfortunately our public institutions are not always well equipped and the resuscitator did not start. Several doctors jumped in for CPR and with coordinated movements, they pounded on my chest. The medical report states that my heart had stopped for two minutes. The maximum it can last, someone said, was three. Finally, I breathed again.
When I regained consciousness it was past midnight and I found myself lying on a strange bed covered in a torn green sheet with needles and tubes all over my body. There was frenetic activity around me. Doctors were rushing from one bed to another. Shouting instructions at the nurses. What was I doing here?? I finally managed to get the attention of one doctor. I requested to be handed back my clothes so I could go home. I was ignored. A second attempt – more pleading than arguing now - and I was stonewalled again! No you may not go home. No you cannot meet anyone. Yes, your wife is outside. No you may not see her. STOP ARGUING!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH?? YOU HAD ALMOST DIED AND ARE LUCKY TO BE BACK. THIS IS AN ICU AND WE HAVE PEOPLE TO ATTEND TO!! SO PLEASE JUST LIE DOWN AND SLEEP. By next morning, I realised that some co-patients in beds around me were gone...
The next couple of days were a blur. I was transferred – this time in a high tech ambulance – to a private hospital in the other end of town. It took a while for me to be able to see clearly. When the fog cleared somewhat, I got to look into the mirror...and could not believe it was me I was seeing. There was a bloated face with puffed up and bloodshot eyes. The blood vessels in my eyes had ruptured during resuscitation – not an common occurrence when you are subjected to that kind of a physical assault to breathe life back into the body, as I was informed later. My doctor in Bangalore joked that I should have had a couple of cracked ribs as well.
In the days that followed, I underwent a battery of tests. Everything turned out to be normal. I could talk, walk, see and hear. My brain functioned as before. The chances of escaping unscathed from such an ordeal are slim. I was incredibly lucky to have been returned to this world in the same condition as I had almost left it. Those that had been with me through this time said it was a miracle that I was back the way I was. My colleagues – people who till then I had seen in a different life - had saved my life. And they stayed to help with whatever else my family needed. My organisation rallied to provide support. The outpouring of concern, love and care that I received was overwhelming. Colleagues, friends and well wishers called and sent messages from around the world. Friends and relatives came in and out of the hospital all the time, helping with everything from meals for my family to researching the emergency equipment I would need to carry with me once I was out of the hospital.
I often wonder what this experience was meant to be...is there a message for me? I feel truly privileged to be here on earth, and blessed to experience such love and warmth of people. I also can't help feeling that I am on a journey someplace. After all, this was not the first such experience of my life. I have had close calls before. These have shaped the way I perceive the world and my responsibilities towards others. Many things that occupied mind share have entirely ceased to matter...and others have taken their space in my thoughts. More than anything else, I feel an intense desire to make a contribution to the world around me. A desire to not waste this precious life which has been gifted back to me. I am certain that there is a purpose for my being here. A purpose beyond what is evident. And I need to find it and do justice to it. I do not feel the urge to abdicate what I have – my job, my surroundings – as I seek that purpose. I feel they are intrinsically linked to my existence. So I try to discharge my responsibilities at work with sincerity and readily undertake any work that comes my way. I feel thrilled to have an opportunity to contribute. And I don't sweat the small stuff. Not at work and not in my personal life. I look to make moments count. Moments when people approach me for help or advice. Or when I am in the presence of talented and hard working people from who I could learn. I get a nagging feeling that I have a lot to accomplish to do justice to my existence. At such moments, I turn to write so I could at least express my wishes hoping for someone out there to hear and show me the way.
The second anniversary draws near, memories come flooding back and thoughts turn inward again. I remember with immense gratitude all the people who came close to me and my family in that one moment. I hope I will be able to do for others what they did for us.
I did not get to celebrate Holi that year with my friends. Nor have I since then. But we did get to celebrate life itself...this most precious gift of God!
Friday, February 13, 2009
A hectic week draws to a close
I have traveled and worked hard. Been in meetings from morning till night. Teamed with delightful colleagues and friends from different nationalities...some of whom have traveled further, and most who have worked even harder! We have focused on issues to solve, value to deliver, things to do in the near term, and stuff to focus on in the longer term. I have been privileged with the opportunity to meet with upcoming generation of HR professionals, to listen to their views and share thoughts from my experiences.
I have read reports on the global economy and noted steadily deteriorating conditions the world over. The big seven economies in recession. Emerging markets in a downturn. Every subsequent week brings in a bleaker picture. This week I learnt of the Australian economy feeling the heat...and not just of the bush fires that killed a 130 people and caused untold grief to the nation. No optimistic news, other than India's victory over a small island nation which produces lion hearted cricketers.
There is a strong and continuing urge to do more. I feel the need to remain focused and grounded. A need to team with people and to create value. To be of assistance to whoever approaches me. There is no desire for rest or recreation. Perhaps somewhere there is a fear...fear that I will not be able to do enough??
I have read reports on the global economy and noted steadily deteriorating conditions the world over. The big seven economies in recession. Emerging markets in a downturn. Every subsequent week brings in a bleaker picture. This week I learnt of the Australian economy feeling the heat...and not just of the bush fires that killed a 130 people and caused untold grief to the nation. No optimistic news, other than India's victory over a small island nation which produces lion hearted cricketers.
There is a strong and continuing urge to do more. I feel the need to remain focused and grounded. A need to team with people and to create value. To be of assistance to whoever approaches me. There is no desire for rest or recreation. Perhaps somewhere there is a fear...fear that I will not be able to do enough??
Sunday, February 1, 2009
My early years in JNU
I was born into a family of academics. My parents had met while pursuing their doctoral degrees in a city then known as Leningrad and in a country that no longer exists - USSR. After spending five years earning their PhD, they returned to India and were married. Such a marriage was a first for both families at the time, my mother being a Bengali and my father a north Indian who was born and raised in Lucknow. And with surprising lack of opposition from either side - especially considering that this was middle class India in 1970. Soon after my birth, at the tender age of 2, I was diagnosed with severe bronchial asthma...which perhaps led to my mother giving up her professional career and devoting her life entirely to my well being and upbringing. Till today, I consider that the academic world lost a talented lady.
My father then joined Jawaharlal Nehru University to teach modern European history and we moved into the beautiful campus, which in those days was still an upcoming institution comprising a small number of clustered buildings. These included the academic block, hostel accommodations for students who came from far and wide, living quarters for the teaching staff...and 400 acres of wild open space! I say wild because that is exactly what it was. JNU is situated on hilly terrain at the southernmost tip of the Indian capital and is amply endowed with nature's bounties - both the flora and fauna. It has a forested feel with thick shrubs and dense foliage. And lots of animals. As kids, we saw all kinds within the campus. Like the majestic peacock dancing to herald rain early in the morning. Or the stately Neelgai (asian Antelopes known for their blueish colour) who would get startled and disperse if you chanced upon them. Sometimes there were packs of foxes, and in our early years we heard wolves howling in the night. We have seen large monitor lizards. These reptiles are known for their distinctive ability to get "stuck" to surfaces. I am told their services were called upon by the fierce Marathas who would scale walls of fortresses by tying ropes around the lizards and climbing up behind them...a unique form of guerilla warfare in those days! And of course there were snakes!! During my growing years, I got to see them at close quarters. It was not uncommon to chance upon one while strolling along a secluded path. Once my dog, a brave little dachshund named Zulu, kept guard against a cobra in a barking and hissing battle that lasted over three hours. It is said that these snakes go in search of their dead mates. This one had slithered into our house a month after its mate had been discovered by the same trusty friend in our garden. Unfortunately for them, both were executed by gardeners who were adept at handling such situations. Once we even had a black scorpion scampering across our corridor.
Set as it was in such beautiful natural surroundings, and cocooned from the big, bustling city...yet it never felt far enough for one to lose touch with cosmopolitan realities. On the one hand I came in close proximity to nature. On the other, I grew up amidst learned academicians. Simple people with surprisingly strong views. Views ranging from the far left (JNU was a socialist bastion in the 70's and 80's and may still be to some extent) to the liberal...and at times even the far right! Many an evening were spent listening to debates on matters concerning the nation, the economy, and of course everyone's favourite - politics! As the evening would progress, so would the decibel level with everyone vociferously holding forth their points of view!
Growing up in JNU has had a profound effect on me...and memories of my childhood and teenage years are deeply engrained. It has now been a decade since my father retired and we left the campus. And almost everybody I knew there has since moved on and are in different corners of the planet. The university has also grown - both in prominence and in size. Buildings have sprouted and there are fewer secluded spots around the campus. Yet, I scarcely need to close my eyes and am transported back to the tranquil environment of my childhood. I vividly recollect every aspect of life on the campus. The rock on the park outside my house where we spent countless hours playing and chatting. The lovely smells that would emanate from trees during rains. And the winters!! Waking up in the morning and peeping out of the window in anticipation of a cold, foggy day. Long walks along the road that encircled the academic block, with hands thrust deep inside the jacket. And the new year parties when my friends and I would go around collecting firewood for the bonfire... Even today, my visits to Delhi are incomplete without a drive into the university campus. I go there to spend a few quiet, solitary moments...driving on the same roads, walking the same paths. On my last visit, I went and sat on the rock outside my old house, maybe after 20 years. It was strange how it now seemed much smaller. Either I had outgrown it, or somewhere it had assumed larger than life proportions in my imagination.
Is this an escape from current reality? Am I craving a life long gone? Of a chapter closed forever. Maybe it epitomises an existence that I seek and have not yet achieved? Or does the past always seem glorious in comparison to the present?? I do not have answers to my own questions. What I do know, however, is that I have been truly privileged to have spent my formative years in such a wonderfully charming, warm and cosy world, the likes of which I might never experience again...
Thursday, January 15, 2009
A moment of reflection
It is slam bang in the middle of a busy work day.
A day which was to commence with a conference call at 9am and end with another one at 11.30pm. The first call was to quickly connect with my friend and colleague to agree on some pressing issues, but could not take place because of some even more pressing issues taking precedence! And the last one will have to do with discussing the future plans for our organisation with a bunch of our leaders. In between, the opportunity to provide guidance and counsel to some dear colleagues on matters of career. And through the day, address a variety of areas of varying degrees of near term and long term significance.
So what am I doing here right now??
I was walking back from lunch (which is usually a solitary affair here in Singapore...part of the package deal which comes with global roles that operate in this virtual world). And I suddenly think about how we navigate through our busy, interaction and transaction filled work lives - focussed on the here and now. Solving this issue, dousing that fire, beginning one assignment, bringing to culmination another. Debating and arguing. Sometimes we plan...not just our work, but how to deal with people - customers, bosses, peers, subordinates - some of which have seemingly conflicting interests and priorities. At other times, we share our perspectives and emotions with trusted souls. Some days are filled with excitement and others just drag on. And how we get consumed by our environment and act and react accordingly, differently in times of opportunity...and differently when we percieve adversity.
This funny work life of ours.
If only we could take a moment to still our minds and stand in reflection. A few minutes perhaps. Our mind...often muddy and unclear like the ripples on the surface of a lake on which stones are constantly being thrown. A bit of stillness...and clouds of confusion fade away, the vision clears, actions emerge and they get executed with clarity and sharpness. Like the beauty and serenity hidden within the depths of the lake whose surface lies still.
Just one tiny little moment of reflection...I had this sudden urge to capture it!
A day which was to commence with a conference call at 9am and end with another one at 11.30pm. The first call was to quickly connect with my friend and colleague to agree on some pressing issues, but could not take place because of some even more pressing issues taking precedence! And the last one will have to do with discussing the future plans for our organisation with a bunch of our leaders. In between, the opportunity to provide guidance and counsel to some dear colleagues on matters of career. And through the day, address a variety of areas of varying degrees of near term and long term significance.
So what am I doing here right now??
I was walking back from lunch (which is usually a solitary affair here in Singapore...part of the package deal which comes with global roles that operate in this virtual world). And I suddenly think about how we navigate through our busy, interaction and transaction filled work lives - focussed on the here and now. Solving this issue, dousing that fire, beginning one assignment, bringing to culmination another. Debating and arguing. Sometimes we plan...not just our work, but how to deal with people - customers, bosses, peers, subordinates - some of which have seemingly conflicting interests and priorities. At other times, we share our perspectives and emotions with trusted souls. Some days are filled with excitement and others just drag on. And how we get consumed by our environment and act and react accordingly, differently in times of opportunity...and differently when we percieve adversity.
This funny work life of ours.
If only we could take a moment to still our minds and stand in reflection. A few minutes perhaps. Our mind...often muddy and unclear like the ripples on the surface of a lake on which stones are constantly being thrown. A bit of stillness...and clouds of confusion fade away, the vision clears, actions emerge and they get executed with clarity and sharpness. Like the beauty and serenity hidden within the depths of the lake whose surface lies still.
Just one tiny little moment of reflection...I had this sudden urge to capture it!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Work and life...and life's work
The year end was a good time to connect with friends from the past. I discovered that Singapore is a nice little vacation spot for people to come down at the end of the year, spend time relaxing, shopping and generally winding down. A few of my friends from school, college and university came across and we connected over drinks and meals. We caught up on the years gone by and I could not help reflecting on how passage of time changes our thinking, our emotions, our actions - even our worries. Just the other day we were worried about clearing exams...or excited about a new girl in our lives. How we agonised about our future - would we get somewhere and be somebody?? Or would life pass us by and we would be left stranded by the wayside as we just hadn't toiled hard enough? Now the conversations have changed - excitement is the next vacation in some exotic part of the world...and worries are about school admissions or their children's performance.
All this led me to...reflect. Yes once again I found myself thinking and questioning. I thought about my work and what I ought to get done...but more and more I found myself thinking about what work has meant to me and and how what I do will make a difference to others. The past and the future...intricately connected to form the story of my life!
My work ethic started to take shape as I graduated from college and found myself doing things I did not really enjoy, after having been rejected by institutes which would have allowed me to pursue the profession of my choice. Boring as it may sound (even to me), all I wanted to do at the time was Human Resources. I had this notion that being in HR, one had the opportunity to unlock the potential of people in organisations, to uncover their talent such that they and the organisations that employed them would collectively benefit. The jury is still out on that one! My struggles began when I was rejected by my favourite institute for HR (yes - it was called Personnel Management those days). A combination of family pressure and the temptation of the motorbike my father would buy for me led me to join Chartered Accountancy. Before I realised that I neither had any ability nor interest in finance and accounting. After a few months of futile effort, I renewed the pursuit of a career in HR. I again applied to the same institute, secured an interview as I did before...and was rejected yet again! But I remained steadfast in my quest. I quit CA and began, quite literally, a door to door job hunt - if not HR, I would do something else, anything more human than accounting! I managed to gain a desk research position in a small market research firm - a huge personal accomplishment and attributable entirely to a kindly gentleman who, like me, had escaped from the horrors of a career in accounting. Eventually, I did succeed in obtaining admission into a Masters program in HR in Symbiosis Institute of Business Management, an institution with which I have had a very warm association over the years.
I have often looked back at that period of struggle and have vivid memories of the journey...the never ending search for opportunities, the numerous applications followed by rejections, the frequent doubts on my own abilities, the sinking feeling that nothing would really fructify. I gained some unexpected skills - like learning to circumvent gatekeepers and reach people who would consider me for my worth rather than by my meager qualifications. On the other hand, I became deeply introspective. I had been delving into Indian philosophy...trying to understand the purpose of work and life. I meditated and I took long walks. A close friend went through a very similar journey, providing me comfort, companionship, camaraderie, and sense of oneness of purpose.
I have always maintained that this period of struggle laid the foundation of my work ethic. It is often said by people that they work to live better - that it is a means to an end. It provides for life's material comforts, along with a sense of achievement. For some it is the satisfaction of ego, or a means for obtaining power and prestige. People work so they can live well, own, possess, and further the prospects of their progeny. Sometimes work is the laboratory in which to conduct experiments, where success and failure come in equal measure. At other times it is an escape from monotony and drudgery, or a shelter from life's myriad challenges. Work is many things to many people. Me? I still haven't figured it out. But what I do know is that work is not a chore - an activity to be completed to meet a certain end. For those of us who get to do what we love to, it is a privilege. Accorded to us so we can fulfill our life's purpose and provide meaning and joy to people we get to touch...
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Two thousand and nine
The world bid farewell to a year, the likes of which many would not like to experience again...and welcomed a new one with renewed hope and vigour! Goodbye 2008 - year of meltdown and collapses. Of bailouts and recession. Of terrorism. Welcome 2009! We pray that you will be better. That miseries will be behind us and we shall once again experience prosperity and well being. And just in case you are unable to provide these, then please pass on quickly so we can welcome 2010 which will definitely be like our past years of joy and happiness!
Why is it that we hastily bid adieu to difficulty and suffering, while embracing their opposites with enthusiasm? Why should the stock markets head only one way...upwards? And our wealth only increase? Our health improve? Our happiness never end? Why is peace better than war? And pleasure better than pain? Why should only good things to happen to us? WHY IS BETTER BETTER THAN WORSE?
As I awoke this morning to the customary greetings from family and friends with wishes for a joyous and prosperous year ahead, these thoughts emanated from my being and poured into this post... Cynical? Weird? Not really. Are not pleasure and pain two sides of the same coin? Isn't it true that that strife and violence are as old as mountains and oceans? As are peace, good will and generosity. Where there is good there is its opposite. Sadness where there is happiness. Poverty and wealth. Ugliness and beauty. War and peace. Terrorism and sainthood. Birth and...death!
But it is not my lot to ponder over these weighty issues and look for answers that may raise even more questions, is it? Or begin a year with morbid thoughts. No. This is time for hope, for optimism, for energy, exuberance, action. And how could I forget...for new year resolutions! So what are mine for 2009? For a person who has never been motivated by milestones and numbers, January 1 is just another date. But before I go too far down this path, let me change tracks. I will still not have any resolutions. Rather, I shall renew some promises that I have made to myself in the past.
...a promise to strive
...a promise to excel
...a promise to lead and to be led
...to inspire and to be inspired
...a promise to be of value to a greater portion of humanity than I have ever been
If you wish me anything this year, wish that I can live my promises and walk the talk. And you, reader of this blog of randomness - I wish you the same! For that is the path of evolution. And the only truth I can claim to vaguely understand....
Friday, December 26, 2008
Expectation and responsibility
Now that I have been 'at it' for a while, I realise that blogging brings with it expectations and responsibility...totally self inflicted. Of continuing what one started. Of demonstrating consistency. Of being articulate and reasonably presentable. I quickly learn that like many habits in life, it takes some effort and perseverance, certainly in the initial days.
When I started blogging earlier this month, I did not know what I wanted to achieve...whether this was a momentary surge of creativity or simply a release for pent up emotions. Maybe there was a subconscious desire to solicit acknowledgement or appreciation. I still do not know. I also dont know if this will stick with me or if I will abandon it along the way. If I look for patterns in my life, I would say my personality has evolved as it relates to acquiring habits. In my teenage years, my pursuits would be more fleeting. Yoga lasted the course of one summer vacation, and running another. While in college, I volunteered some weeks with a charitable veterinary clinic. I took away impressions, and did learn from each of those experiences...but I did not pursue them. Perhaps it had to do with my attitude towards life itself. While I had varied interests, perseverance was not a virtue I had imbibed then. In fact, laziness may not be an entirely inaccurate term for me all those years. My parents would sometimes send me to my gifted cousins who had pursued their respective callings, hoping for a ruboff. I would always marvel at their talent as I did their ability to persist with their passions. But when asked to try my hand at something, I would invariably shy away with the refrain 'it is too hard', or 'I am not capable of this'. When we get together now after all these years, this is still an oft repeated joke in our family.
Because somewhere along the way, something did change. I developed the ability to focus and to persevere. And found an innate desire to work hard. The turning point was my final year of graduation after I had pretty much lost my way in the many distractions in the north campus of Delhi University. A year of struggle subsequently to find, and obtain, what I was to call my profession changed all that. My leaning towards Indian philosophy had a definite bearing as well. I have since then learnt the value of struggle and introspection. By the time I gained admission to the Master's programme of my choice, I was able to put in 14-16 hour workdays. And when I started my professional career, this became my work ethic and remained a way of life for me for several years thereafter. I believe it was the cornerstone of much that my colleagues and I collectively achieved over the years. It was also responsible in a big way in severely jeopardising my health, which has taken a couple of years to resurrect. Suffice it to say that somewhere along the journey I learnt to persevere with my passions, to take obstacles in my stride...and to take responsibility. Responsibility for myself and for people that teamed with me and gave their very best. Importantly - when faced with challenging situations, I learnt to ask the question 'what is the RIGHT thing to do'. This question alone has served as my north star over the years. I do not claim to have got it right all along. Far from it...as I truly search for mistakes and omissions of my previous years. But I did seek to tread on the right path - right for the people and right for the organisation. And today, when sometimes I hear others who traversed some part of the journey with me ask the same question, it does provide satisfaction. But more about these experiences another day. I can fill reams of pages on my worklife in India.
Because somewhere along the way, something did change. I developed the ability to focus and to persevere. And found an innate desire to work hard. The turning point was my final year of graduation after I had pretty much lost my way in the many distractions in the north campus of Delhi University. A year of struggle subsequently to find, and obtain, what I was to call my profession changed all that. My leaning towards Indian philosophy had a definite bearing as well. I have since then learnt the value of struggle and introspection. By the time I gained admission to the Master's programme of my choice, I was able to put in 14-16 hour workdays. And when I started my professional career, this became my work ethic and remained a way of life for me for several years thereafter. I believe it was the cornerstone of much that my colleagues and I collectively achieved over the years. It was also responsible in a big way in severely jeopardising my health, which has taken a couple of years to resurrect. Suffice it to say that somewhere along the journey I learnt to persevere with my passions, to take obstacles in my stride...and to take responsibility. Responsibility for myself and for people that teamed with me and gave their very best. Importantly - when faced with challenging situations, I learnt to ask the question 'what is the RIGHT thing to do'. This question alone has served as my north star over the years. I do not claim to have got it right all along. Far from it...as I truly search for mistakes and omissions of my previous years. But I did seek to tread on the right path - right for the people and right for the organisation. And today, when sometimes I hear others who traversed some part of the journey with me ask the same question, it does provide satisfaction. But more about these experiences another day. I can fill reams of pages on my worklife in India.
Coming back to the topic at hand - I feel the weight of expectations and a sense of responsibility to continue what I started. As I said before, this is self imposed, but it exists all the same. All at once, I encounter challenges I have not faced earlier - one of which is simply...what do I write about? How often should I be blogging? Do I have anything of consequence to mention? Topics keep coming in and out of one's brain. Some funny things start to happen. I get influenced by books I read. Not just the content, but also the style. Somewhere the author enters my brain and I begin to think and write like him. And imagine the havoc I create on the keyboard when I change authors!
And so my journey continues...with no clear aim or end in sight. With no particular purpose. Will I pursue this or will it fall by the wayside along the way? As I re-read my previous lines, I am suddenly reminded of nagging and continuing inconsistencies. So I have placed a mental wager with myself. Let's see who emerges victorious...
Will something useful ever come out of my blogging?? The question twirls around in my head as my brain yet again begins the daily shutdown ritual at 3am...and I rest my weary head in anticipation of a new day!
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